cleanse/detox day 6: RAYMISEMO
i look great today in the torso and i was great last night, drank nothing but water at two different bars. had a salad sans goat cheese and pistachios and then inhaled a bag of dehydrated kale chips in vegan cheese at mezzrow’s with stu his sis her husband and others. they had been eating and drinking a lot and were all moaning and griping about how full they were and even though i would appear to be smug i was also in pain, super mega crampy and bloated. i’m pretty low energy today so i think once i finish folding the boy i slept with last night (my laundry) i will sleep some more. today will be about sleeping and shopping. i have a royal high tea function tomorrow that jen is putting together. i need an old lady lady outfit. a 28 year old back in mad men days would dress like a grandma right and already have 3 kids and dress tea ready daily for sure. anyway the point is i have the blues. not a big (HUGE ACTUALLY!) deal i will be fine. it’s just going to be a long day. i’ve decided NO coffee cheating. yes, i have been cheating a little bit. it’s surprising to me that coffee is my crutch over booze.
the intense headaches or sluggishness from cutting out caffeine yikes have fun guys. i am definitely a coffee junkie i know this for sure i thought the pots i drank daily of the shit was like, normal and i was immune to caffeine didn’t notice it anymore because it had become like methadone to me, no buzz, just vital. i already feel the headache in the top of my brain it feels like popeye is squeezing it like that can of spinach, throbbing and pulsing, i feel like if i looked in the mirror i’d appear like skeletor or some science fiction ghoul momentarily and just from a coffee withdrawal headache. i am lucky from all the coffee i drink i don’t have yellow teeth. it’s cos i don’t smoke.
fantasizing about new orleans again. i think the more you go the more addicted you become. if you’re not a drunk it’s a great place for you too, you move from substances on to experiences and get high off those instead and eventually are dependent on them for thrills, and there’s tons of freaks in the french quarter. i think i might actually start going out more if i become full time fun bobby forever. notice how some people go straight and become complete lovable lunatics? or echo park hipsters (what’s that naybe in LA that’s like williamsburg called?) all clean and sober covered in tats making art installations and photographing all their friends drinking and givin’er i think this is the direction in which i am going.
i brought this back for my colleague. the souvenir i got for melucas was a pack of american spirits, what i used to smoke in brooklyn and then in maine.
dropped in on boom only had peppermint tea and stared without blinking at food network. they were making cupcakes. oh god. i figured out the first three days of chocolate/sweets cravings are from booze withdrawal. now i don’t crave them as much. jeanette taught me that if you detox for a month then by your next period you won’t have crazy salt chocolate cravings. if you flush it out then when all the blood rushes to your cervix dragging along with it all the toxins you consumed throughout the month at once sending out craving triggers all over the place. picture your period, we know what it looks like, all that gathered around your cervix waiting to come out, pumping out of you and then oh my god i need a bag of chips plain ruffles and a hershey bar RIGHT F–ING NOW GRAAAAAH! but! next period if you don’t be a hippo for a month, there’s no miss vickies to swirl around the drain, or hamburgers, whatever it was, your savoury sweet memories of the month. blood memory, like muscle memory. i already cheated with a chocolate egg anyway so the entire experiment is botched slightly. maybe. come thurs/friday i will be full on fasting though which will make the past 6 days look like a fuckin mandarin buffet of consumption.
these pants are highwaisted gap flares from the first go around of the trend i think. got them for 5 bones at salvation army in burnoutington. they are tall girl length too and drag. once i shimmy down another 5 pounds i’ll look way better in them. speaking of i’ve lost 5 pounds!
the kids inquired at mezzy’s last night what the fuh about this photo and they said it was makeup. i told them to look at the corkboard when they left and i knew they would forget to so i took a picture and bbm’d it to stu. it’s everyone’s favourite picture now.
soosh party. the mighty soosh. (and i can’t handle the mighty boosh cos of my ex’s cuz blaring it at 4 in the morning one time after two days of professional drinking). brown rice, soaked kale i think, carrots seaweed and she let me dip it in this kind of soya which i think is what made me fantastically bloated for the rest of the night even though i was probably going to be bloated anyway. frowny face. i sound so much like a cathy comic it’s retarded.
oh man i love andy samberg.
raymi’s list btw (trumpet blare)and i am for the first time ever unapologetic because for YEARS i have had to stifle my celeb crushes and every time shia labeouf would come on i’d be like yeah! so gay right! (wrong i would fuck staple him to a brick fucking wall i swear to god just watch me ahahha)
in no particular order we have:
the gallagher brothers (either one doesn’t matter)
the hot one from the hangover
the jew stoner from road trip
that guy jeff from big brother two summers ago (i am not very good at this)
amazeballs shake. goji berries! soaked. delicious.
simple and easy and fun.
i could be a lip model. i’ve never had a cold sore in my life. photoshop can take care of the peach fuzz. you can see how i have one bulb in the center pout of my lip that’s uneven. i got a fat lip once i forget how or i might have torn away at something, i am a bit of a lip biter and peeler anyway, at one point in time there was another weird lip glob to match the other one identical to it until something dumb or traumatic happened that i clearly have blocked out of my mind haha.
aside from the extra lipstick fleck on my lips and my lip piercing leftover divot, not bad. these were super hard to take in the car, i will perfect it and flash my teeth next time too.
personal treat. miss you steph so much!
remember when melodie had this haircut? i’ll get pictures. snotty chic tina fey as melodie. uncanny. this whole scene is lucas and melodie actually they’re trying to get their way back in to that uber douchey trendy restuarant so they put their shit on backwards and she styles her hair like that haha i love it. oh look i found it.
alright i’m kirsten DUNskies. out.
aw my buddy tyler stewart just DM’d me. cheered up now and i am motivated again
Read the new post. Best in a long time. Don’t wanna say Cleanse=Clarity. Or health is the Amp to your Electric Talent but, OK I said it. xox