which to wear tonight? hmmm. guide me!

yesterday was great, liquid foodwise. i did it. i prevailed. going in for round two today. ok well, at midnight i had a tiny handful of onions i cooked. i think of all the cleanse days that day one of fasting, so many juices, the nutrients they provide, i’ve had the least bitchy coursing through me. i felt full and stronger of will and mind, more than halfway through now, today is day ten. the other bonus to this cleanse is you have sobriety clarity which in actuality equates zero patience and full hyperactivity. you ask someone a question and immediately roll your eyes waiting for a response, irritability and annoyance ok that was supposed to be a bonus somehow. you’re just sharp, very sharp.

going to yuk yuk’s tonight with casie. i will sit there like medusa staring unblinking, vibing out the comics. no kidding. please put us in the front row. i gotta email my contact.

gonna make like ling and bai! (bai ling? that joke was for one person only).

did you hear eye weekly is changing its name? do you know what to? i do. are you going to the party? i am. got a head’s up about it via chris who interviewed me for eye for my 10 year dinoversary. i only had that party to make the media interview me. it worked four times. another htbfoti tip regarding that is in le book.

close your eyes and pretend they’re steaks. mmm steak shake.

rationing myself, rationalize uh, insert funny quip. willpower people. i will outline all that i consumed when this thing is over MOM stop asking me every day!

haha not my hair, just my greasy ratty halloween wig. my hair was even more disgusting beneath it. no wait it wasn’t nevermind. i can go 4 days without washing it, day four being better wash it day.

this is my vacation outfit. i am going to south beach with my mom and fairy godmother late june/early july. SO EXCITED. haven’t had any time to think about it or plan it, lois is taking care of that. ahh resort and car rental for 9 days all over the place. those girls are my wing girls too so they will be doing all the picking up for me and i don’t have to let my shyness fuck it all up though americans are way chattier than canadians so it’ll be pretty easy all around i think. my mom said everyone in SB is way more image focused and fitness obsessed so we better be bringing it. leslie said we have to go to st augustine though i think we might already be doing that, again, i have had zero time to process what’s up but now i am totally letting my brains go there. ba-lieve i earned a vacay. a REAL one. lois wants to film it all. it’s gonna be looney tunes for sure and i better not get fat. i’ll run on the beach. can’t wait.

james gave me a good work out today. i have never been so dizzy spelly but i got through it. i am a champ. my ass is starting to get sore now.

i just looked at photos of myself from three weeks ago. FAT. look at how teeny you can get in 9 days if you are already working out if you just eat right.

i need to have better quality shots taken of all my hard work i don’t think it’s translating.

beet salad from parts&labour sans the bacon. it was delicious but i wanted so many other things on the menu. sigh. saw an old bud justin works door there. awesome.

my date had this. it was so raw i wanted to eat it out. baby did good though.

i was going to wear this but in the end switched to docs and a black tiny sweater and no bra, i wanted to be long and lean and gazelle and i have never been smiled at so many times before at p&l like that so it was a homer.

rationing my shake. normally i hoover but i am going mentally theatrical as much as is possible, pretending i’m an orphan or held captive, concentration camp all of the above. you get fuller quicker the slower you eat. give your mind a second and tell it that it’s satiated down there in your belly and that no more for awhile cos you’re lazy and will have to get up and comb through adventurehouse to get it. lazy wins.

tgifrench kiss day.

here’s ma pics.

seat buddy pics.

not so much torture for me now i dunno why i pretend it’s hard to turn down food. your stomach and hunger goes away, shrinks. on the inside and the outside. today i fast. juice/shakes only, liquid food. got two big fresh juices to go.

jen looked fab.

papz urrywhere.

hands were trembling a little. because i was so excited about the wedding of course. ha.

glad i missed the cocktails. phewf.

is anyone getting any work done today?

go joey d. missed your rendition of white wedding on the accordion.

two can play at that game though i trust the ones of me are way TMI than this.

i begged casie to eat this poor thing. she wouldn’t.

bad idea those shoes but they look the part but partly stupid with this dress however totally last thing you look at when i’m coming toward you in the street. blisters galore now which would make me flip flop ready, right?

it was hard to talk to people in this hat when i was trying to speak to the windows people at a table i had to do a 180 from head to head to head. note to self: not a networking hat.

lots of dressed up girls camwhoring in the bathroom. loved it. little dolls everywhere.

next time i wear this my hair will be up in a prissy bun with a few subtle flower diamond trinkets.

there’s the one and i’m not sucking lemons my face is a bit gaunty. i dunno.

how grand and gotham is the windsor arms? quite.

oh brother here we go.

um can i be sent to modeling posing school for a day? these ones you have to give me a break on though as i have barely a second to jump back before the pic snaps.

blahaha doofy flats. tweenager flats. total tool flats. office lunch party android flats.

i just got an idea for my next video. i answered some questions for an upcoming article for something or other and the guy started drunk emailing me last night haha and said he showed my blog to his girlfriends and they’re all into it and said OMG i just spent 20 minutes watching her dance. nice. hi girls!

i love your blog so much you are so addictive i sent it to my little pixie friends and they are all like omg i just spent 20 minutes watching her dance.

ah. its all part of something.

anyway goodnite

you should come to ****** sometime it would be epic

it’s my cafe

i think i might die though

okay enuf

i’m sorta

drunk

-n

please ignore last teen boy email.

-n

No I loved it haahaha

really really super digging my nella clutch. versatile london bag. what kind did you walk away with from tarek’s party?

nothing like gift bags. an item in mine i am giving to my dad for father’s day. he will LOVE it and it will match one of the items i gave him on the present shrine shelf in the kitchen.

saw lauren wearing that pimp tea hat. awesome.

pink gadgets ma fave.

like.

chris is that your hat or theirs? i like it. bold.

purple and green always look great together. jen is teeny weeny. love her.

cas and i swapped gifts i think she has enough gadgets and cameras. plus she has a big one for the royals.

crap aim.

better.

that’s all for now. turrah.

oh i could go for a london fog right about meow.

tucked them in for a change.

my mung beans. pretteh.

remember this exchange? he replied.

Well, this was a very different, unique, unusual, and most importantly open minded thought i had, plus i dont actually have any sisters and i’ve always wanted one. So as a result i came up with this special sort of relationship where it could be possible to be brother and sister even though we are obviously not blood related. I would NOT want this to be just some online thing and as well, i would want to eventually become really really close. What do you think?

again what do i get out of this?

this kid is annoying me now. the answer is give me one thousand dollars and i’ll be your sister for a week. it will be meaningful. loads. ha sha’right.

i love their dedication to this sparkly pink rock scattering. going on YEARS now. endless amounts of fraggly whimsical rocks at a florist’s.

that shit cheers me up. don’t tell anybody though. i have an ocd reflexive need to LOOK at these every time i pass, even if in a car. just to make sure no one kicked them away.

sigh. a little bit of adorable on a gloomy day. unique and innovative. good idea for a garden wedding.

that trucker fucker was doing piggish wolfing at me so i scared him taking a pic (was actually shooting the fluorescent lights). he turned into a statue. you can call up a company and tell them their driver grossed you out totally right? not that i have the time for it but still, is there something about being high up in a rig’s cab that makes you insano-horny? there must be some lot lizards reading from their verizon phones in the states right now who can answer this.

my back definition is great. my bacne? not so much. HELP!

someone cleaned their room guess who?

here’s a hint: has skinny ankles like me and insults everyONE. hahaha. also rolls toasted pecans sprinkled in cinnamon into goat cheese ohmyfuuuugmgdlukghdsuifdsbvflbL! she also says it pee-kawns.

I AM COMING OUT OF DATE MACHINE RETIREMENT TONIGHT LETS SEE HOW I DO IT SOBER. YELLING IS CRUCIAL.

that’s a goji berry. isn’t goji the greatest word?

see how beautiful jeanette is?

starving starvlor. courtney said to me the other day that i DO eat a lot. i said if you go out why restrict yourself right? eat at every place you go. only for a while though my food benders are over. i might stay a vegetarian for awhile too. this shit is working. only for health reasons not ethics. i’ll buy more furs and leather goods to make up from my lack of consuming animals or maddox can take care of that for me.

fuck that guy is funny i wrote on his wall the other day and then merkley commented WHAT IS THIS 2005? i’m going to visit merkley soon i swear. that’ll be a trip and a half. he said thursday is threesome day. right.

soya or whatever that is so salty to meeeee mmmmmmmmmm i am basically a tape worm on food now. ew ew ew.

that shirt is from le chateau, 2002. remember when being stylish was an actual skill and hard? no h&m’s or UO’s or AA and so on.

banana blueberry goji berries sunflower greens maybe other stuff i forget it was delicious.

what were the seeds? we have a blender here i bought sprouts so maybe i’ll walk to no thrills and get some fruit.

the goji berries were soaked or re-hydrated i think? see how smart i am right now? i do have sober clarity though which is the equivalent of brain injury, lots of energy, highs and lows. total bipolar express CHOO CHOO! i also haven’t had sex in weeks (not feeling it, vow of celibacy, having my iud out cleanse detox you know cut out all the bad at once) so that is making me part lunatic also, and if you do any research on bipolar (teacher did) you’ll find that these people have high sex drives like sex addict level so you can imagine my frenetic state, or don’t now ew. i am super prudish and super sensual. ok back to cleansing right right.

you could also have avocado as your base. i bought one. i’m going to come up with an epic brew.

how nice in a wino glass. i picked mine up and shook it like crazy like i had the DTs. which i experienced yesterday at tea while holding that little dell computer (dudes i NEED a new dell mine is about to explode on me i am serious) i was like woah here come’s the jazz hands. teacher’s dad said he had to go sober while on meds once and day three he noticed his newspaper shaking. awesome visual.

jeanette said you could smother this in tahini. bad move i can’t i bought a tub of it last summer and consumed it all with a spoon in 24 hours. margu-wanna is a hell-o-a durg.

i am getting starved right meow.

i’ve rolled my own sushi before in maine, without the aid of the roller. it is wickedly harder and more frustrating without one.

great roll. you get into your stuff when you’re cleansing, pay more attention to detail. i would and will get really perfectionist about my rolls. 30 seconds before swallowing them whole like a sword.

oh hell ya f–n’ right.

gotta capture me that shit for ma nostalgics, dawg.

next time no rice, all veg until i piss green.

let me halve this beast and pretend for three seconds i am not a pig though i feel as though i should be allowed firstsies as i am restricting and about to black out.

movement pills time. i am no longer scared about these. bring it. you learn how to time it and it’s possible to tell your movements to lay the fuck off! you can save them up and then disappear for three seconds and then reappear ten milliseconds later all done cos it whips out of you like roadrunner. this is why we avoid hot sauce. i’m playing fire with it though because i am cuh-raze.

my fly was down the entire time and i have a billion bags beneath my eyes.

sucking it in hard so bloated but today i am all leaned out. i always forget i have two days of bloating hell only and then skinny town right to period and then even leaner than that afterward. boring bloated blogger talk.

it’s almost easier to take coaching over the phone because i get lost in jeanette’s pretty maybe if she was wearing words it would be easier i am quite visual and becoming more and more ADD like my mom.

had to borrow this for the windiest bikeride home ever. my stomach is going to be a playable usable washboard pretty quick cos it’s what powers my bike as i ride i can’t help but use my core to pedal through gale force winds. my nails look so cute with this mr. rogers cardi so far my fave of all to wear of teacher’s.

speaking of which we had “a talk” last night and everything’s tolerable again. i informed him that i am not his girlfriend, and i don’t want to be in a relationship right now. i got what i want and i am like NO i have lots of shit to do a relationship is too much right now, i can’t expend energy reserves i barely have sparring with another and being the fun activity. he can go dates all he wants as long as i am number one (get to keep the key and throne) so basically he is in a new kind of hell, essentially. he saw that i updated my pof profile so thing’s got testy. i said in the beginning i wasn’t done dating and i was going to continue to do so and if this “relationship” becomes a source of (more) stress for me (which it has) then i have to terminate it like an abortion, i mean, it’s been almost two months. HAY-O! ahem where was i um, so, i haven’t dated, i haven’t seem my friends i am a social pariah and i forgot how to function in the social world my monthish of dropping off the map is overish. i asked him to stop reading my blog as it is restricting my creative output flow and i don’t like that.

++++

joey has the best wrap-up of yesterday’s tea including a shameless shill for yours truly to get a new dell. i’ve held out on buying a new computer cos i feel like i should have one for free, who disagrees? FU in advance. it’s stubborness not poverty.

feels so good too. PC for life.

what a sexy gadget and i actually have to take a break from my dell right now as it’s overheating and going to blow and, dell, i need two new computers actually while we’re at it, one for home and this new duo. does it come in pink? ooh i see red, that’s getting closer.

i taught myself how to do html back in 1964 on a dell when i was 17 years old. i have been a loyal dell consumer for years. bitch you done owe me! DELL you are the car my fingers drive around in everyday. i know you do sponsorships for musicians no one cares about so how about a blogger everyone reads?

one of my tips in HOW TO BE FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET is no money no funny. my alexa ranking trumped everyone’s in that room yesterday. i’ll link you when you deliver the goods. i’m your girl for sponsor.

xoxo minx money out.

stylist of the week is none other than g’s fine foods. i used to live around the corner, so does my aunt, she bought this here. money went to tibet for it. i miss my old neighborhood a lot.

almost went in and showed it off but felt insane enough in this hat (that makes it impossible to talk to people all floppy and shit).

It’s hard being a lady of such class and sophistication surrounded by peasants. (this caption is by blogslave ahahaha).

do not pose like this.

i was flexing my tit muscles to keep that baby up. i would have had it looser if we were in jamaica or something. when i bent down in the variety store later on it opened 4 times in front of a man trying to read a magazine i didnt’ realise, i had retied it multiple times. bloor street was feeling me and feeling slobbish in comparison and i had to walk slowly cos i was getting blisters from my nana shoes. i shoulda walked all queeny down palmerston too. apparently they cleaned that street up specifically for her which is why it’s gorgeous and has narnia lamp posts. please tell me of another street in toronto that has lamp posts like that.

casie’s beautiful pic.

anna and lil miss o’nizz.

hi y’all gentleman (southerny drawl) the name’s dusty swanson. AGAHHAHa

mom: is this your passport photo?

raymi: no mom it’s my graduation photo

mom: what did you graduate from?

raymi: strip class*

*some girl liked this on facebook ha nice burn.

mom: k thats it, I don’t want to hear that kind of thing

raymi: its a joke get a life

just happenedd by this and need to renew my passport. i’m like uhm are you legitimate? then a dude comes in to wait for his turn and im adding tons of makeup on and fixing my hat hair he was super annoyed but i ignored him completely. this shit lasts five years, mega important. so glad that one sticking up hair relaxed in time for the shot.

my mom says SHAZAM beneath photos of this ring. please tell her why that’s not ok. thank you.

i couldn’t eat anything in the room so i didn’t. i didn’t eat all day actually. but i could eat strawberries sans whip cream. when i got up to network anna sat down at my seat and ate mine. ha. she’s like raymi i don’t read your blog anymore is it still all about you? i go no anna it’s about you. haha. we have known each other since i was 19. i modeled her underwear once.

see. me arse at 19, might even be better now at 28. imagine that.

nipple pasties for some reason.

my first tickle trunk room in our first adventurehouse.

MMMMMMMMMMM.

chocolate tea.

temptation urrywhere.

nice prop.

oh jesus.

AAAdorable.

^&%*&%#*%^!

skinny fat, hair length makes my face fatter plus smiling. no no.

two big leaguers in one shot. snp et erin bury, notorious and glorious.

CUTE.

this was over my left shoulder the entire time.

that’s my new pink flower ring from stella.

ok looking at my pics now.

you will be minxed oh yes.

heartbreaker salon 889 dundas street w. 4.1.6.8.6.9.0.4.4.0 talk to kathy, tell her raymi is your favourite and see what you get (raymi surprise).

booked a last minute appt for high (royal) tea tonight so they couldn’t get me the union jacks in time. oh well. means i get these ones i have coveted since day ONE.

these are hype.

this photo makes my thumb seem more beveled than it is in real life. oh i love this job so much, my job and THIS nail job.

requisite (in the) john shot.

can you imagine this thing coming at you? isn’t this the logo for some hardcore punk band? the misfits? correct me please feel free.

i am a skeleton today. i just weighed myself. fantastic. i am going to be a skeleton this summer from the biking thrown in to my motion rooming.

best of both worlds, black and sleek with pink to satiate my prissy girlness.

there’s my kathy, so cute. she has the cutest sweetest voice too. she did lady gaga’s minxing in her hotel room and said there were tons of shoe boxes lining every single wall of the suite. wicked. i will ask her again how that experience was. loved my QOTSA story and photographic evidence, we exchange groupie stories. she was bummed about one of her idols kicking it. she’s cool, hardcore girl.

haven’t had time to even take them in too busy. sleekest ones yet i’d say. the longer the nail the better they look obvs and the more you get. no more nail biting! i wish.

we start like this.

and this and then under the heat lamp for a bit and then she files off the excess with the glass file. v precise and clean finish then a bit of top coat for extra protection, to prevent peeling. you do not want these guys wet so i don’t have to wash my hands for ten days haha gross.

back-lit who cares i look well defined. this cleanse detox is great!

perfs.

disaster bike work out hair. don’t worry by the time i’m ready and all together i’ma look like goldie hawn married to bill clinton yup yup. apparently there’s an outfit contest. yikes cruel.

at courtney’s last night. i had a glass of water and was super manic talking her face off then stoic statue then manic again. hilarious and annoying.

most best creamer ever. she got it in the distillery. said there are other kinds. can you picture this at brunch with cream in it. yes. yes i can.

and i don’t even like cream or have it, ever. i have soy now. melodie would love this.

i hope i didn’t give courtney too much of a bitch complex last night. she is rather catty, i love it, but we told her she was bordering rudeness, close to it. not that it matters to me i admire this quality of telling it like it is super sharp and funny, witty. courtney i love you i am glad we are bonding over living v close and conveniently to one another, if you lived in the east end you would be dead to me.

played a few rounds of commie asshole wherein some got surly then we were like ok this is turning into actual REAL asshole here and soon to be known as otherwise by SCRAPHOLE. it was a fun evening. i made them garbage dump drinks cos i couldn’t taste anything. they’re like, THIS one tastes like a bathroom candle. ugh.

court was like oh yeah i forgot you were scary when you played games. i do get a bit yelly and competitive. we’re going to start a risk club. geeks. whatever hot geeks drinking wine and swearing at each other til 4 in the morning playing a game of risk that never ends as if that doesn’t look like heaven.

i told lisa she looked like the best friend of a stressed out wedding shower hostess aka BITCHY and scary. her outfit was very cute and pretty and i felt like a slob. but i always feel like a slob so nothing new.

her two-tone grey socks were a hit and so was her gymnast body and headstand.

this cat’s nails are so sharp they’re like snake teeth which might become her new name. i feel too stupid calling her totoro. that’s just not a word that i like even though she looks like totoro (google it yourself). her paw is clung/stuck to my shirt it’s almost not worth picking her up to have scratches all over my shoulders eventually she detracts them but still, seriously? have we not done this before already? i just pick you up and nuzzle you and you LIKE IT fucking RELAX PLEASE.

hat i’ll be wearing with dress that is stressing me out on how to tie it the best. i bought a black shawl too and a sparkly pink vintage flower ring, all from stella beside easy. i’m going to borrow melodie’s wedding cluth which is so tiny i may as well just bring a handful of air or hold on to my house key ha.

very low energy today but kash helped me out of it she’s a motivator for sure. so is andrew and james of course.

jeff and i, he does some tai chi-ish stuff a lot and cowbell training and some other martial art i forget. he’s a bit smart allecky which is fine by me. i always win though.

bad cop. i should be cast as one for something. i got checked out all over the city today in my little outfit, cop bait too. where everything becomes a jammed clusterfuck at lansdowne/queen i have to weave between all kinds of shitty vehicles, trucks whatever and i was stuck beside a cop on my way here now, two trucks side by side ahead and no room. i was too shy to look but then i took off before we could be eye to eye. they sure had a nice long drink of what my leg backs and arse look like and let me give you a hint, they look GOOD. made it home in time to beat the rain very proud of myself for time budgeting today and now here comes the rain SO dark. totally just jinxed the minx, it’ll be brutal getting to yorkville in this rain now.

sigh. mike’s unicorn paintings. they (courtney and amanda) want one more to make it even. draw your own damn unicorn, girls!

mung beans turned into this. added apple and various spices and sauces, was a bit bland but that’s my fault. they’d be amazing smothered in gravy omfg.

after my monastic day i go downstairs to check the weather and there’s mail. oh i thought this might have been lost, but nope, it arrived safe and sound….

perfect. thanks can’t wait to see you in july babe with your matching J belt buckle haha don’t forget it.

yup. when you cook you look like this.

i got despy.

looks cute.

tally ho!