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i’m the one you should know

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oh look raymi’s doing something, lets watch.

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i just remembered the black keys are playing the amphitheatre july 8 i NEED vip for that. make it happen i don’t care how and i’ll make it worth your while. gosh i’m so cute. i liked my face yesterday i got it to be dewy for once and not scraggily caked on makeup spackled as is typical and we already know how i felt about my hair

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good turn out. i love liberty village people. went to metro the other day and it took ten minutes longer to figure out what i wanted cos i was distracted by all the perfect pretty chic robots was also spotted by a piece of fish i never met.

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april’s amazing nails.

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bonkers for them. i need a new minxing (yes already) for my birthday next week.

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we had work to do. the white wine and the cheese is partially responsible for this morning’s teeny wig out. that cheese was so delicious though. rosemary cheddar. i ate 15 million cubes.

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i was fabulous of course.

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whipping your camera out helps cancel out half the social decorum disgraces one is wont to do and if you dress like sideshow bob that too. oh i get it now, she’s creative, of course. that makes sense look now she is standing on her head. neat.

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i discredit myself way too much i learned the other night. yeah yeah that’s going to stop right now. i’m proud guy. this website is climbing in rank, what i say matters (on google, for business) whether it’s meaningful meaning (it isn’t) to you, what i feel matters most in the world fiscally is business, therefore, what i say matters. now hit a gong or chime a bell or something while we move on to the next picture and verbose caption. no discredits here move along.

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ok i lied i had a tiny bowl of pasta, it didn’t aid in my anxiety attack though, if anything helped manage it. i went out empty stomached. some of us might have been totally blotto by the time we left. not me though i was just dizzy from spinning and clumsy. i’m always clumsy though. a day is not a day unless i walk into something or step on a catapult and launch my groceries into the sky. whoopsiecakes.

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the best food was picked over before we got there. post work hunger crowd’ll do that yep.

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my precious brazenheady weady yes yes i love it i want to hug you i do.

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i am going to wake up at the crack of dawn to get a spot on that patio first sunny warm enough comfortably for patio sitting. nah actually that day will take place in bellwoods with melodie.

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the green is the rosemary i loved it so much i brought some to go in a napkin stuffed in a roadie cup.

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aw that little girl. here comes the baby fever.

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i have zero attention span for this. are people actually listening here? or are they thinking about drinking wine and ensuing taught bodied acrobatics?

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in my fantasy recreation of this moment the girl with the camera is chanting FREEBIRD!

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giv’er.

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that part’s neat. very circusy.

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ok ok ok raymbo’s up.

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teeheheh check the nervous look over there. full-ay warranted.

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make that two nervous looks.

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yup this is happening. nothing like wine rushing to your head and blood at the same time. kids don’t try that at home because you aren’t old enough to drink yet. burn.

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very graceful. i just kind of swung there a bit til i got the courage to do a flip and positioned my hip bones properly. i am gymnasticy, acrobatic and athletic. there really was not a need to worry about what dumb moves i was doing. just saying.

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i have a practical method of learning things (like my lesson) and it’s do it until i hurt something.

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i haven’t been taught how to twirl spin yet so i’m just getting my sea legs on then in walks some guy to say stuff to me that i forget i was too hyper and excited about this trapeze don’t interrupt girls when they are playing unicorns we can’t hear anything you are saying it’s like guys and videogames and sports highlights (of the game you just watched WHYYYY do you need to now watch what you just watched again you drive us NUTS! we know it’s cos you want to stretch out ignoring us as long as you can but jesus can’t you just turn the channel already we will continue ignoring you too promise).

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then i pretended not to be greedy for three seconds and had a chat, of which i am still none too sure. slam dunk networking at its finest. i think i mainly only remember conversations when i am the main focal point.

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and now i am trying to sneak the bar up higher before anybody notices so i can get pictures of my chin ups which would be the part when i got busted.

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i was happy to have the help no thanks i do not want that thing coming down with me gripping it and my face like the power of grayskull slamming into the floor.

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more aid and check my pits. i’m sure everyone enjoyed making fun of that part about me.

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here would be my chin up lecture probably i like how our feet demonstrate our respective body languages here. me playing agreeable liar, authority figure and sly back up from right to left.

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thanks to being a bean stalk that guy went up to the topmost rung, proud to say and in my head here i am deciding whether or not i am capable of doing what i am about to do in front of 100 people.

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ol sweaty. that’s my exhale face. always remember to breathe lest you black out while exercising.

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i felt like i looked stupid here slooowly spinning but i am actually firing my core muscles and actually working out but to people standing around smugly judging lazily with their shy wine cups it just looks like a starfish in pain. that’s how your face is supposed to look when you rock your core. hi shannon you looked great last night.

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i am actually turning 15.

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bummed i didn’t take any good ones or any period of april doing this. my arms were too busy shaking from nerves and adrenaline and the hunger weakness remedied with wine.

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then a lesson in spinning. you stand there and move your torso slightly to the left or right whichever way you want to spin, winding yourself up like a clock and then you reverse wind let go like a top and off you go lift your feet off the floor.

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you hook the ends in your thumbs so they don’t whip people on the head. which happened to me just after this photo was taken which is irony for sure.

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wow my hair was getting out of hand. i eventually fixed it. ally behind me is so funny. give me your pictures before no one cares about this anymore. you have less than 24 hours. you too owen GOD.

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see how my torso is twisted. that’s me winding.

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ready now?

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if you spot somewhere on the wall like in ballet pirouettes you can make yourself go faster. you get really dizzy though. my eyes were skitting back and forth megatime when i was done. trippy. more danger. my favourite.

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give me a break look at those lights it was cooking beneath them. also i have the ladylike persperation of john candy, who sweated in the shower even and we all know how he ended up but do i look anything like that? i can sweat from just sitting still in a blizzard.

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whatever kick it out. ok gang this is pretty much exactly how you should do an event as a visitor from another planet like me. eat and drink everything in sight, test out every single thing there is to play with, only talk to people who are connected and can wash your hand and you theirs, then leave with as many swag bags as possible. me? three. great socks reebok thank you.

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then i finally fixed my hair and april and i took a wizz. actually no that’s not true i didn’t take my first pee til later on at my next venue. thanks to pantyhose you can forget you haven’t broken the seal yet.

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sure i’ll stay at home washing dishes cooking dinner forever for you no problem.

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we had a nice little girl chat party in here with a couple other chicks (hey!!)

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and then guess how arrogant i got about THIS particular hair stacking. oh nevermind don’t bother save your time and breath. i’m a simple woman.

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he doesn’t stand a chance, utterly defenseless, just give up now and save yourself the effort.

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april did your flower make it home too?

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then i went here to go pee. first i walked into that tvo social media party at the ossington and was immediately like, no. i wanted to actually be there for it but for reasons i cannot explain (that i do not want to explain) i left. first not before i was busted by corey mintz in the back room though. awesome. he introduced me as lauren. course he did. i know what that guy’s all about. nice to see you broseph. i saw rannie in the crowd too, he was the first face i recognized and that’s how i knew off the bat what was going on in there. i left with some earphones i don’t think were meant to be free sorry tvo. i also recently discovered that red flag and corey are cousins, second third or something. awesome my world just gets smaller.

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what’s your type is one of my favourite guy questions to ask. one guy said without any hesitation, LIBRARIAN. i meant like, princess blond, hipster, red hair, you know actual concrete details not a vague huge margin of a woman type. which in actuality can say a lot about a type. he wants a hot brainy whore essentially is what that means by librarian.

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this is why you can’t have me. look at that. there’s not a butterfly net big enough can scoop me up forever and pin me to your wall. only if that butterfly net is held by a dowry and someone ready to make little raymis in two years and all the yuppie white picket fence trappings of perfection that go along with. deal?

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then i’ll readya all the bedtime stories you like.

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one quarter pound desperation with cheese coming right uppppp.

HUMP DAY DONE DID.

10 thoughts on “i’m the one you should know

  1. this website is climbing in rank, what i say matters (on google, for business) whether it’s meaningful meaning (it isn’t) to you, what i feel matters most in the world fiscally is business, therefore, what i say matters. now hit a gong or chime a bell or something while we move on to the next picture and verbose caption. no discredits here move along.

    THIS IS SO TRUE. LOOK AT SHEEN FOR EXAMPLE. WHATEVER HE DOES OR HAS DONE, HIS SHOW WAS STILL NUMBER ONE AND MADE THE MOST MONEY.
    IT CAME DOWN TO RATINGS
    BUSINESS = MONEY = BUSINESS

    EVEN IF YOU GO KOO KOO

  2. oh man green cheese, yes please! that looks really fun, did anyone do a face plant? i couldn’t laugh at anyone with pit stains because that’s me all the time, i have them just from standing in one spot.

  3. holy crap dood, I NEED ONE OF THOSE SPINNY THINGS NOW!!! I have an advanced collection of leotards and tights to change into while I pose dramatically/give myself multiple head injuries! p.s., pit stains are hawt, shows that you’re burning calories and everyone else is deeply jealous.

  4. hey raymi,

    I have been reading you for a looooong time.

    i think you are delightfully wierd.

    and inspiring

    I just launched a blog this week and would love it if you’d check it out and gave me your two cents.

    http://thenewtrick.blogspot.com/

    thanks.

    also I think you are long over due for a trip to Los Angeles.

    thoughts?

    i would love to meet you in person so i can realize my nerdy web obsession.

    thanks.

    mike

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