free hit counter

queef article

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5020082399/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5020082181/in/photostream/

hello world. i wrote “a piece” on queefing when i was 18 years old. it went viral (fark) a few times, has been printed in many (indie) magazines (zines), tattoo culture jokey vice rip-off publications and the like. i get a lot of emails via it from people who know nothing of my blog or myself. i generally ignore them after forwarding to a few friends but sometimes i like to fuck with people because hey, that’s “how i do” so read on. i barely made it through this one too many things disgusted me about it to read it proper. i wish you luck on your quest.

Hi Raymi,
My name is William, but you can call me Bill. I loved your write-up on Pussy farts. You’re hillarious, laid-back, real, and super sexy all in one.
Im from Ann Arbor, Michigan origonally, but I live in Akron, OH. Right now. I don’t know where you are from, but I think you are awesome.
I have experienced the queef many times. I have an 8″+ cock size and in certain possition and tempos it can tend to pump some air in there. Sometimes it has happened with new parteners or ones that are a little self conscious, and I usually just say “that’s alright, there’s nothing wrong with that” if I see they are a little embarassed. I think it’s cute. It’s kind of like a pleasant sigh of relief after a “particularly good pounding” (inside joke :-) . Sometimes it happens after a multiple set of orgasms in and unusual position when my lover is bent over just right and then goes to lay flat and recooperate. However, I had a fabulous lover once whom responded to my body and abilities in such a powerfull and intense way that during some of our hotest moments, her pussy would quake with orgasms so hard that while I was taking long, full, hard thrusts so deep inside her body, her pussy would spasm and contract so hard it would squeeze and pull air around
my cock while in motion and make somewhat of a squirting & sucking sound. That was truly beautiful! I would make her cum so many times that she would loose count and when I just couldn’t hold it any more and would cum heavy anywhere she wanted it and then collaps in exhaustion from a job well done. It would take her 15 to 20 minutes to recover and walk again. It could tell you some stories. LOL! If you’re game, we could even make some new stories to tell together.
I was going to send a pic of myself, face shot or other, but wasn’t sure you would even get this. So, I hope if you do recieve this that you’ve enjoyed my input as much as I enjoyed reading your candid article on queefing. You should send me a sound clip of you doing it. That would be cool. HaHa! Hey, I wonder if you could put a sound clip of various pussy queefs on your website? You could get the girls together for a big pajama party and make some music with all those spectacular variations in the greatest organ in the world. That would be like icing on the cake. ;-)
Lots of Licks and Love,
William

sure send your photo ill put it on my blog. no penis picture though please.

What? You’re kidding! You want to put it on your blog? Do you have other guys pics on there as well and what would you write about me, if anything?

“Inquiring Minds”

i would just post your email and make fun of you

I see. That’s not quite the level of respect I had expected from you. Why would you make fun of me when I’m in support of your article? Did I offend you in some way? Please Send me a link to your blog so I can have a better idea of what you’re talking about.

“Inquiring Minds”

my blog is linked in my email signature. you wrote to a virtual stranger offering a pic of your dick and you describe the size of it, i barely read your email but what i glimpsed was overrun with spelling errors. you are in support of an article i wrote when i was 18 years old. i am now a 27 year old woman. the style of the writing of that article should tip you off that maybe i am a cynical pundit. i have little respect for those who offer pictures of their genitals online, why on earth would i want to see that? is this some kind of pick-up? was that the intention? really i want to know i’m not being snarky here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5020692340/in/photostream/

Nine years has a way of changing us. I wrote to the frame of mind you were in then, which is apparently not where you are at now. The brutal and candid honesty you portrayed as you wrote your article held little back and so I didn’t think I needed to be that shy with you. So you’re now trying to tell me that the detailed discription of what your genitalia can do with air is somehow less intimate intimate then knowing a details about my genitalia? You seemed like such a free spirit and I appreciate people with those traits. Maybe life and love has bared some marks upon you that have made you more of a closed person now. Maybe you don’t feel the same way about men, as a result. I had no idea that page was so old. Surely things are different now.
I am so sorry that I have offended you, that I misspelled words in my email, that I described aspects of my anatomy, that I offered pics of myself, and that I would have loved to date that crazy, fun, 18 year old firecracker that wrote a brilliantly funny article on queefs. I cannot appologize enough for responding to you in this way. I feel awfull and ache with disapointment at the way I reached out to you. I am so very sorry Raymi. Please accept my appology. I beg your forgiveness. Please don’t be angry with me. I regretably made a mistake and wish there was some way I could take it all back, but I cannot. Please have mercy on me. I didn’t mean to come across in a way that displeases you. Can you forgive me Raymi?

Thanks Raymi. Go ahead and blog it. If anyone could bring out the humorous side of things, it would be you. :-) Thank you for keeping my name confidential. Maybe you could call me the Pussy Connoisseur. I look forward to reading your blog and learning more about Raymi the Minx.
Ah! Yes, I knew there was something else about you I liked. I see you are also a marijuana enthusiast. LOL! Have fun, Love. Do what makes you happy. Let me know where you post that on your blog. Ttyl
William

Oh! Hey, if you get any positive female feedback, then send them my way. I love meeting new people. Even if they are in another country. I take it you are in Canada. Would love to go there some day. Take care Raymi

i can bravely say without any shadow of a doubt, and zero hesitation, that there will not be one solid ounce of positive female feedback coming from this and if it is your goal to pick up women on the internet, this is absolutely the opposite way to do it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5020067451/in/photostream/

i also wrote a guide to “being a slut” about the same time, actually no, i wrote it when i was living in brooklyn earlier that year at 18 but anyway when i went mental (moral) i had them delete it because i wasn’t that kind of person anymore. i’m sure you can get it on the internet somewhere like this guy did,

Interesting concluding sentence this: “And no one gets hurt” when earlier was this “We don’t want another stalker to add to the list..

Clearly a lot of people……sorry, not people, I mean “stalkers”…let’s dehumanise those poor souls that get attached to you after you seduce them right away so we can pretend that “no one gets hurt” because, well they are “no ones” aren’t they? And yes, these “no ones”, these non-persons are getting hurt, and hurt bad.

I know, I pick up the pieces. Sometimes I’m too late.

Remember the original stalker movie, Fatal Attraction? Well, when it was first shown, we all knew at the time that Micheal Douglas was the villian of the piece. It was a cautionary tale about playing with people, about Nemesis following hubris.

You play with people…and believe me, it is the “harmless John’s” that when they realise they’ve been played…they will be the ones that will erupt in grief and rage…not the run-of-the-mill thugs.

How on earth can people like you be stopped? I don’t know…I only hope it was a parody, a piece you wrote to satirise what you think men do. I think not though…I think you really do go out to target nice men and leave them damaged.

initial reaction: What the hell are you talking about and then I believe you are referring to a piece of satire I wrote when I was seventeen years old which was deleted yet you somehow unearthed. That was ten years ago.

yeah was actually 18 but it was written about how i acted as a sixteen/seventeen year old. i guess the moral of the story is, be careful what you say on the internet it can come back to haunt you and some people can take it severely seriously when really you’re just having a laugh. my how to be a small town slut article exists still though. many people have asked if it’s about me. no, it isn’t.

14 thoughts on “queef article

  1. Rewrite it. the ball is rolling downhill, gathering more crap, making it bigger and bigger… I for one, am interested in a newer (more polished?) version. And If I vocalize it there are at least 100 others that feel the same way

  2. Ew, that email was gross, but on the plus side, the queefing article was genius! Hahaha. I especially liked the transcript of the boys in the bar. That is exactly why the article needed to be written.

  3. i actually said if i rewrote it today it would be wildly different. i dont have the time. id rather write about other things like why cat’s meow. kat the boys in bar interview is 100% true. we were at a bar near my house calling my brother for the name of it right now, ok it’s called the muddy moose. actually i will send the article to one of the guys and get his reaction for a follow up.

  4. So so creepy and gross. Not sure why I find this a million times more disturbing than flat-out insults and trolling.

    I hate when men try to come across as sexually liberated and daring to a stranger. DON’T DO IT! It’s not the same as when a chick writes about it. It will always come across as creepy. It’s a double standard that just is.

  5. The wildly different part is what’s potentially interesting but… less nasty things to write on. UGH you have some seriously creepy fucking followers, I cringe when they show themselves. I do. I want 2 hire Randy Coture to walk behind you 24/7! Cats meow because they can BUT I’m a pilgrim (dog lover).

  6. bwahahahaha…. that guy is ridiculous. But he seems really cool from his letter so maybe you can send me his info and we can talk…. ugh… eww… just threw up in my mouth a little too.

Comments are closed.