guess what that’s what
sometimes i miss weed. i miss how i wrote stoned. looking back on the haze of the last several fucking months of my ganj career i marvel at how i was ever able to churn out blog posts pre-mj but then i remembered it was due to hung fumes, where everything is funny cos you’re drunk still and i’d just blog til i ran out of steam and was no longer capable of making myself laugh.
so the moral of this is i have to get back on the sauce again hardcore supreme if i want to save this shit show blog? no wait i discovered the cure for marijiuana, it rhymes with spokane. ha haha ugh. kidding jeez sorry.
look at how conceited this cat is.
i get my camera ready then i go pss pss psst and they all look up.
all five thousand of them!
brosz7 and i on the ferry, i sooo hate when it loops to hanlan’s from ward’s before hitting the city i get super duper crabby and impatient and all the small talk we make is totally forced sorry for faking it guys but in my head i am machine gunning the sky with rage bolts of lightning.
yesterday i received an overwhelming amount of nasty comments and it bummed me out. normally it just bounces off my heart and i’m like oh well but yesterday i felt especially sensitive, vulnerable? you guys are mean as shit eh. what did i do to you? i biked like mad to loblaws at queen’s quay happy with my bravery decision to go solo to the island for the first time this summer, i get to the supermarket to buy my beach snacks and then i check my blackberry emails and there’s 20 asshole comments waiting for me. i sat on the stairs and went through them and my heart raced and i looked up and felt like shit, felt like everybody around me in loblaws was feeling the same awful things being said about me, hated it. getting a little out of hand these days it really is. i am just trying to get through my stupid fucking life here why the need to stomp all over me?
people get more aggressive with me when there’s a change, i think that’s it. they see a free bird and they want to shoot it down. sometimes i wonder if i was a man blogger would i be harassed so awfully?
no one ever thought i was good enough for my ex. then we split and they’re like stupidest fucking move ever. now that i am dating for the first time in my fucking life that’s not allowed either. would it please you if i just sat in a room doing nothing forever then? or just laid down and fucking died? WHAT DO YOU ASSHOLES WANT FROM ME? back to boring housewife basics? cos even then you were railroading the crap out of me.
i am an eccentric being. i am different. DEAL WITH IT OR ELSE LEAVE. beast said it’s cos i paint myself as this flake here and in real life i am nothing like that, i’m sweet and kind and loving and generous but you forget all that when people are scream pound typing about how much of a fucking train wreck you are. come back when i’m 30 then we’ll talk about how much of a train wreck i am. i’ve had a rough year, lots and lots of changes, and last i checked i’m pretty sure i’m allowed to do whatever the hell i want.
i refuse to accept that consistent harassment comes with the territory of being a blogger. that shit’s not right and shouldn’t be allowed to fly anymore. how can it be policed? seriously it’s so disgusting it makes me so angry i feel like if i were to ever be face to face with one of these nimrods i’d end up in jail. i fantasize that the po po would be on my side, i’d be all guy, i gave them irish sunglasses because they’ve been torturing my ass for years and the cop would be like here is my baton finish them off.
matt said he was so tanked once coming off the ferry he tripped and fell on his face in front of everyone HAHHAHAHabsahahahaah i died laughing at that one. i would pay five hundred dollars to go back in time to see that happen again.
so once i was on the ferry i started texting everyone i know to see if there were any beach joiners. i learned that i have one friend only yesterday and it’s this polack. i made smalltalk with a customer about this and she was like not true, everyone else was at work. ok fine i have ONE unemployed friend only. basically i need new hobbies or new friends. no, i need more direction in my life. what i actually need is a new laptop so i’ll be motivated and inspired to sit down and finish my book then i can get that sweet fucking signing bonus then i can fly away and be somebody. i guess i’m just used to being in a relationship and all the activities that come along with that fill up your time, normal shit, but when single everything seems outlandish cos you’re doing everything solo or with a different buddy every time when really it’s no different than if you were hanging with your signif other constantly.
dude with the shovel quoted lord of the rings, you shall not pass.
this was too warm and whiskey coke-ish. like, exact whiskey coke dunno what the hell i was expecting haha. i didn’t want beer. i drank 1/4 of it.
bought a hobo-sized thing of tequila and poured some in a dasani orange-flavoured water bottle.
ok that’s it for the raymi times today. time to wash my hair and collect my bike from the market. it was pissing last nite and we all ambled to a house party. bumped into trish had a gas. two rounds of booze delivery took place. everyone danced with their shirts off and the nite ended with a beatles guitar scream sing-a-long. saw a dude get hit by a cab, he was alright but flew a few yards and it made a crazy bang noise. ran up to gawk but felt immediately sketched out by the pack of dudes all fighting about it.
don’t forget to tip your servers. xoxo.