met up at cadillac for the neil youngins, wasn’t feeling it so cafe taste it was to say hello to jeremy and make him think i was on another shitty date. i’ve brought a few there and sometimes email ahead and say ok, we’re goin’ by lauren tonite. hahha.
a blog nickname has been procured, curly haired fuck would be it.
my pick-up line was you seem like an arrogant prick (something like that, i’ll get the exact line for you) and i’m into that. felt like i would be pre-rejected so i went the route of insult. worked like a charm.
he was accosted by some chicks who tried to mug him outside the jcc and they said give us your wallet you curly haired fuck! funnier than just curly and not like we don’t already do tons of swearing around here.
jeremy is awesome and always accommodates my no carbs whining. the meat is elk and duck and salami. i forget all the cheeses as is typical.
the best date was going on behind us. best eavesdropping ever. the chick was telling the most annoying story and the dude (magnificent dork) wanted her so badly he hung off every word. they were sloshed. when she got up to use the john she so did a wine wobble on the cobblestones. when he got up to piss she declared more wine and he held out his arm and in slow mo says YOU HAVE TWISTED MY ARRRRRRM and turned his arm around. so good. in hindsight we should have joined them.
curly haired fuck is big on sweets. green light. this is the chocolate nut butter they created on accident and now it’s a regular dessert feature. high-end peanut butter cup and sugar free.
who leaves their wallet at home, nice “accident” guy.
jeremy says he doesn’t show up on film. uh dude, d-i-g-i-t-a-l.
keeping it real in honour of blowhan bein’ in the clinker.
too bad that tank wasn’t more see-thru.
someone needs to learn how to not cover the flash.
not even necessary.
off to motel that i’ve been avoiding for reasons nobody cares about. well, another day.
curly is going to write me a nine dollar check for these drinks. i should totally make him. hope it bounces.
maybe blink should be the nickname. no that’s gay and yes ladies he’s fucking hot, saving you the redundant comments trouble. we only mess around with babes in these parts y’hear? consider this me pissing all over him.
my right toe is still pretty banged up from last time i was here, clipped it on the brick wall/corner. total ouch. fainting ouch.
this is the teeniest shirt ever, it was alicia‘s. size 2 so no i’m not that much of a blob. actually the other shirt i was dragging around was hers too.
the photo of me and josh on twitter garnered lots of views cos i titled it me and josh and i guess everyone thought josh was my new man friend, burn sorry, just a dog. human names for animals are endlessly funny.
grow hair grow hair. everyone thought i got a haircut yesterday, what? why in the hell would i do that?
gas station numbers, birth date significance.
i’m pretty good at blinking too. i think i am getting skinnier. FINALLY.
who are you, me?
way way way too early for this guy and i can never sleep right when i have a sleepover. guys pass right out and i am like staring holes into them for snoring so peacefully and i always get the wrong side of the bed. they wake up all refreshed (drunk still) oh hi there and i am bizarro world retarded bloodshot beautiful-eyed oh hi yeah yes yep up and at’em byeeee.
inhaled one of these vegan cookies in 2 seconds. deliciously necessary.
didn’t have envelopes yesterday for a deposit nor today after walking through this lovely welcoming party in flip flops. great. then i saw a baggy of blow on my street and of course ten billion crushed fucks.
and now i have a date with tan lines work oh wait here’s the rest of hangin’ out with britt.
try the rock shrimp at sushi d it’s sooooo gooooood.
i am sentimental over this place. went here with the ex and britt near the bitter end. sigh le sigh.
i have a new purse on the way in the mail, a nice big one, once it arrives i’m going to start taking the olympus ’round with me. it’s too precious to shove into one of my dirthole bags. this bag and these shoes and this dress courtesy of lovely leslie. she thought i was too depressed (was) so she swooped in and shared the wealth.
britt’s hot new hair. extensions too. better pic coming right up.
is this duckface?
when she drives britt sits like she is being chased by monsters.
shannon worked so fast and with a busted arm too.
so they razor shag the ends to make them more real even though it’s already real hair. each clip is twenty bucks and they last as long as you’re good to them.
oh god i just had a glimpse of the future.
beast gave me this pretentious huge ass bag to cart some of ma junk home in on my bike i may as well have been buck naked holy boner maker.
yesterday’s outfit to sweat by (in).
i can’t fucking believe it’s almost august. i want to cry.
hope you rsvp’d to this cos it’s sold out.