Raymi,

-******.

hi it’s the I HAVE NO FREE TIME BLOG baaaaaaaarf. if i’m lucky i’ll have a nervous breakdown soon. just as i’m all oh i love my alone time i go out again. come sunday every week i am frazzled to the bone. it’s great but all i want to do is lie down in the grass in the sun for eight hours straight until i feel smart again. i’m saving money to go away. i figure complaining about needing a city break won’t make anything fuckin’ happen so maybe i should put some of my own damn effort into it. you don’t need anybody to go away, you can just, go. so i will. done. good. deal.

elyse’s glasses.

dance is coming along great. the numbers are tightening up. show is soon. (may 16 at revival don’t forget!) saw my dad brother and aunt yesterday briefly, was nice even though i was an irritable bitch. so busy i forgot my period was baffled by why i was eating so much lately.

i won.

after rehearsal went to my favourite store in the market to therapy shop even though i went to my other favourite store first on a break to buy a shirt there. i was in a pissyish mood (zero sleep) and instead of spending the time to eat i thought well, eating will just make me more moody cos i’ll be dancing around all fat-feeling. i’d already inhaled a banana and an energy drink, some coffee and a kashi bar. i just eat and eat there is no off button. anyway, i went by the money/spending it code i invented when i was in england, it’s ok to be broke if you look good as in, while everyone is eating why not shop? their food is gone in fifteen minutes but you have a new shirt. ta-da. went to last temptation afterward to eat an omelet. then i ate again a half hour after that at the madison.

then i finally go home to collapse and rob calls cos he’s hungry. went to mezzno’s (sp?) i can’t believe i hadn’t been in there before. looks like i’m moving in. drank a ton of bailey’s, not enough actually those little spanish coffee glasses loaded with ice are impossible to drink through also when you work in a bar and have every booze bottle known to man at your grasp it’s kinda like excuse me, fill’erup. i always expect to get something for free everywhere i go cos i consider myself this walking advertisement for like, fuck, everything. also i’m pretty generous myself. rob had the shnitzel and it was pretty sad looking and tasting. i ate a banana and we filmed it. pretty vulgar. i’ve been eating lots of bananas lately and not to brag or anything but i’m pretty regular. also lots of oatmeal.

the fish are frowning. i think they’ve gone insane. i would be if i lived in a fish tank. good to look at stoned though to tom waits.

do you think if courtney love met me she’d be all stop ripping me off. rob is trying to quit smoking, don’t think popeye is gonna do the trick and to everyone who asks about all the men featured in my life on this blog no we are not boning. guy shows up in paint covered stupid looking pants with paint on his nose.

and now i must get ready as fast as possible for kamila’s going away party. manicures/pedicures done by the boys who have been secretly taking courses apparently. photoshoot by brosz7kowski and then i have to hightail it out of there for the bombay sapphire party. last year we took off with the massive novelty-sized gin bottle they used at the front door, sass brought it home. had to return it. guess they dug on that as they’ve cordially invited my ass back for more. i’ll sleep when i’m dead. ok i am a retard the bombay thing is NEXT monday. read emails properly much?

today i consumed so far:

3 coffees

ginger green tea

blue menu veggie chili with a light laughing cow thrown in

another laughing cow cheese triangle

a banana

some rice/veg leftovers what roommates made

2 pumpkin pie kashi granola bars

bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal

I AM A MONSTER.

the question now is should i invest in a large tub of nutella? or will that just make me go on a carb’s hoovering spree cos i’ll require vessels to spread that hazelnut bullshit on? (as if i wouldn’t just end up eating it with a spoon and chasing it with more weed).

and i’m going to assume you all vote yes cos you want me to go heffer.

LIKE YOU!

BYE I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

pvc trim

metz

i haven’t “gone” “punk” in aaages. bumped into mark who everybody knows in that scene, we were in a short-lived band together once. anagram also played (jeff’s birthday). i never know how to dance at these things, put it to a ten then understate it a little then out of nowhere just straight go bananas. pushing and shoving, getting shoved. silliness. i don’t even say the word silly on a regular basis and don’t worry i don’t intend to be making a habit of it either. got cut early from work wasn’t expecting to be able to even go to this. it’s nice to get shitty with shitheads. oshwagans.

thank fuck for jamming toilet paper in my ears.

earlier at work got some pirates ripped on screech rum. ARRR.

totally. this ad just got funnier.

walk and grocery run with lucas.

roots are out of control. no time til tuesday earliest to sort ‘em out. feel so anti-princess right now cos of that. sigh blond is such high maintenance and fucking expensive too.

lovin on the sunflower seed butter right now. like peanut butter but crazy texture.

Hey hey Raymi,

Christopher

my stunted rash reply from BB: Ive been blogging ten years and im good at what i do. An innovator, unique, original content daily. I have scandalized myself etc etc.

Cool cool…

C.

I get so much hate it all cancels itself out eventually. No time to fight every battle. I owned ihateraymi.com at one point. First published book called dear raymi is made up of love/hate mail. Everything is content. Being hated is kinda punk rock. Means you’re doing something right, and right now which ultimately is the idea, to be of the moment.

over 50

ahh fuck i wasted the day. going for a quick walk with lucas my scumbag in crime. then quick shower time then work work work.

keep me in my plane – whomadewho from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

you can develop allergies right? i don’t remember having them as a kid. when i ride my bike my eyes trickle and stream. even when i walk i discovered yesterday and it so suuuuucks. i have to leave home extra early so i can peddle at my leisure so as to not induce niagara falls out of my sockets but then i end up beating it thru the ciy as fast as possible anyway cos i have no concept of time and the OMG I’M LATE hits me. then i arrive on time with garth algar hair. speaking of hair i am so having my roots done next week and platinuming it up. heidi montag here i come. (holy shit isn’t she insane!?)

here i am as david hasselhoff. roomies brought home a person from four different bands wednesday nite after their sets. post work i am kind of a cunt but i indulged these kids for a little while. kids on mdma in my home at 3 in the morning talking about music (boringest shit ever for me personally) grinding their jaws. funny and irritating. they were super sweet though, very nice kids.

there are so many barky bitches in my life lately i’m kinda really sick of it. i’m at a point now where i have zero tolerance and patience for shit attitudes. i hustle my ass off, have very limited free time, it feels like EVERYONE is fucking angry at me always i feel like i am this close to snapping. i do a good job being polite and tolerant and abiding by the code of friendliness and manners but some people just like to push and push you right to the edge. when someone pisses me off my response is something along the lines of i have no time for this, sorry. complain elsewhere. i’m just trying to get through my fucking life right now. respect that, don’t take it so personally.

discovered an empty queen west patio yesterday and was given red carpet treatment. such a good hang. a place you wouldn’t think to go to, but you should. i am apprehensive of sharing cos i want to keep it to myself i know it’ll get flooded but oh well they were good to me so i must oblige and do a plug. next post.

i did. now what for ’10?

talent not capitalized on makes me severely irritated. i dunno why some art students rigidly keep their craft to themselves. makes no sense. i didn’t go to art school, i am not an amazing artist, but i made myself a small fortune from my art. it’s marketing, guys. just do it. why go to school for years to not make a living doing what you love? i’m going to start painting again and have another show.

Ignorant and mad young, wanted to be the one.

here’s why i’m always kinda sorta late.

check out my aunt‘s moving sale tomorrow and sunday, 93 Spadina Road just north of bloor on the east side. i’ll be there at some point in the afternoon depending how hung i am and how early i can get myself into bed. she’s selling art, books, clothes, futon, knick knacks, some chairs etc etc.

MOVING MADNESS SALE

at the Coach House behind
93 Spadina Road
(just north of Bloor Street)

TGIF see you at the central tonite my friends.

Haikus i wrote at 19

somedays i just want
to sleep to drink and to fuck
my whole life away

yep pretty on track there

the clever ones they
are the ones who are the most
depressed and lonely

you know today i
put together a bright red
charcoal barbeque

today was sunday
and it was quite a grey day
and it fucking rained

not really tired
maybe i’m just a bit fucked
neurotic, more like

dark circles under
my eyes constantly though i
don’t do heroin

whaaaaaat??

somedays i just want
to never be sad again
or a bit crazy

hey come on now jesus

sundays make me sad
like the day with no people
no one to talk to

oh please

one day i’ll buy a
big limousine and i’ll drive
you just anyplace

well at least i end it on a somewhat positive note.

left my bike at work last nite. going to amble my ass criss-cross the city to go and collect it. my kinda day.