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easily scariest email i’ve ever received

this is what happens when a flamers own flaming (stalking, harassment, obsession) drives them infuckingsane.

I read your post LOOK I’M YOU, your expressions were exactly, eerily like mine in photos stored on my computer and not published anywhere. This and your odd choice of the rarely used word “dazzlingly” that I had just written in a document suggested that you could have illegally hacked into my computer. It would not be hard for someone to install a packet sniffing program if they were malicious or vengeful. You had just blocked me too. Strange coincidences. My friend who is a Systems Analyst is checking out my computer. If you did hack into my computer, that would be an extremely malicious and vengeful act, so much worse than someone posting harsh unflattering comments on a message board. And you know what? After a few days when I read the comments I was fucked up enough to make and I felt pretty pathetic. I mean, you’re right, don’t I have better things to do? When I get on a tirade I find it hard at the time to shut up. This is bad I know. I’ve been resentful of you wining and dining while I wait on customers and sell used crap for chump change. I guess there is just a fine line between resentment and jealousy too. I can come across as a caustic bitch on a gawker forum, but I am not a mean person by nature. I do not have a big hate-on for you, in fact, I admire you in lots of ways. I went too far with my criticism. How you live your life is your own business. Just had to get this out. That’s all.

firstly, i haven’t a clue as to who you are and the only thing i’ve ever hacked before was my face during a coke bender so have fun with your systems analingus. you think because i (COINCIDENTALLY)(put down the ganj you’re tweaking out) used a stupid word in a blog post that i got into your computer? LOL! you try blogging for 9 years, words get old quick so you have to come up with newer vocab wow i’m floored right now but ps. the LOOK I’M YOU is me doing a dave impression. i’m wearing his work safety glasses, his shirt, and i’m frowning like HIM not YOU, HIM! i have no idea what your shitty facial expressions could even be, what you look like, OR WHO YOU EVEN FUCKING ARE SO HOW CAN I HACK YOU!?

time to move on and get some help you have dedicated entirely too much time projecting your life’s shit on to me i’m glad you have finally wisened up to it though. i should have banned you ages ago and yes you should feel pathetic you have character assassinated me in the forums of every goddamn online publication i have been featured in, you’re sick and cruel. you are nothing special. you are merely one of many detractors who criticize me on the regular because you are too lazy and bitter to make meaning of your own life. remember, IT’S ONLY A BLOG I’M NOT OUT WINING AND DINING 24/7 THAT’S JUST THE SHIT I CHOOSE TO SHOW BECAUSE I DON’T THINK PEOPLE WANT TO SEE VIDEOS OF ME EMPTYING THE BATHROOM GARBAGE BINS, FEEDING DOGS, OR STARING AT THE CEILING WITH WRITER’S BLOCK and another thing, blocking you is NOT a “strange coincidence” you fucked up, you got banned. goodbye. cool way of showing your admiration though.

i get that you are trying to make amends here but in doing so you accuse me of something pretty huge, doesn’t exactly make me feel warm and fuzzy inside right now.

41 thoughts on “easily scariest email i’ve ever received

  1. oh my goodness. I’d be freaked out if I got that email. I definitely admire you for being able to deal with the shit the crazies send you.

    Love the photos by the way! You look great! Where were they taken?

  2. ugh it’s like first i have to deal with vitriol character assassination from someone who doesn’t even know me and then i get to deal with their paranoia schizo freak out cos i finally ban them.

    pics taken at rok bar in haaaaaaaamiltan.

  3. lol wtf. OMG Raymi, I have like, totally seen those tights before on someone else and now you’re wearing them. I think you’re stalking my life. Barf.

  4. they’ve been at the bottom of my tights drawer for ages silently stalking some person you saw once in a dream who thought of a word that is no longer found in any dictionary.

  5. sounds like an apology to me

    dazzlingly IS a pretty random low-odds word to double but i mean holy shit we both used the word “switcheroo” today we must be soulmates.

  6. i started with dazzling AND I WAS STONED and it simply wasnt dazzling enough so i brought it to next level stature. how the fuck else do you make fun of a pile of salt sprinkling atop a shitty ham quiche?

  7. Lol! As if you need to hack into someone’s computer to find cool things to tell us! And if you did, I don’t think this person would be your first choice! :-P And I thought I was paranoid… XD

  8. pretty scary stuff there. totally wouldn’t give this person a “second chance”. hacking into someone’s computer and stealing photos, and words? sorry but i think someone need to get a few things checked out, like their head.

  9. It sounds like the medication has worn off, or someone tricked nurses into thinking they were stable enough to use a computer. Either way, that would be insanely laughable if it weren’t so creepy. How dare you have fun and live your life without thinking how it’s going to affect people you don’t even know!

  10. i am going to write a scathing email to megan fox now HOW dare she be more tanned, famous, fit and younger than i! GRR!

    reeny, it’s a burden ha. no it’s not.

  11. This person sounds legitimately mentally ill, in which case, even though I feel bad for them on some level, it might be in your mutual best interest to just block them forever. For obvious other reasons that you’ve already decided on.

  12. Why bother writing an email to Megan Fox when you can just hack into her computer and steal her vocabulary instead?

    By the way, I think you did post a video of you emptying the bathroom garbage bin once, didn’t you? I rated it five stars.

  13. yeah i’ve been dying to use her mountain ox strangulation quote for a long time now just haven’t had the right opportunity present itself oh and i’m way funnier.

    i’ve posted a folding laundry video that was super dark long and boring.

  14. It seems obvious that this person doesn’t even read your blog, for if they did they would know that your haxor skills are limited (link to post on Vimeo uploading). I’d say ignore the haters, they hate on you because they really love you. It’s just like school age boys who make girls feel bad, because they like them, yunno? Just kill ‘em with kindness.

    And you’re right, second guy is much better USS.

    Have a great weekend!

  15. are those tattoo stockings? I wouldn’t engage too much those with problems, just delete or you bring more trouble onto yourself. Hope your Ryerson talk went well. Have a good weekend.

  16. talked to reeny turns out the letter you got might be from this girl that has been sending messages to other bloggers saying they hacked her shit stealing her identity, MUST be the same person.

  17. reeny has all the details ill email u reenys email and u can ask her and stuff, i mean it HAS to be the same person, she is trolling reenys friends blog now saying weird shit…

  18. Oh dear. Paranoid schizophrenics + computers = headache. Those pictures of you are ahhhhmazing. I think I have those stockings, too. I have the funniest photo of Megan Fox I need to find now…

  19. All I have to say about your *stalker* is wow. Had one of those ones, got to the point where I actually shut down my blog for well over a year, just recently getting restarted with that. Good one on the block, sounds well overdue. Keep doing your thing, the hell with anyone who doesn’t like it. :)

  20. That whack job doesn’t know what she’s talking about!
    I’m the one with reason to be paranoid.

    I’ve been watching you very closely since your move to the burbs, you probably think I don’t know what’s going on, but I do!

    Lets look at the evidence from your recent posts, pictures and videos from the grasshoper, hwy #6 and millgrove sideroad, the thirsty cactus (fyi duke’s chicken sandwich best thing on the menu) and now down in the Hammer. It has become very clear to me that you have stolen my ordinary life and now you’re trying to pass it off as your own!!

    I should warn you this will not be tolerated! I know someone that works in ” the industry” and he has informed me that he will investigate the ” boring and coincidental”

    For all you know he could be doing a street by street search of Burlington right now! Just looking for some hot chick hiding behind red curtains and a blonde mane,so tread lightly my blogger friend.

    To the nut case that inspired this piece of fiction, my advice to you is to remember that we live in a time where there’s a pill for every ill. So take 2 and shut the fuck up!

  21. WTF !!! You spoke @ Ryerson! I have a friend that go’s to Ryerson! Where does it end?

    I swear if you start complaining that “morning wood” makes it hard to aim at the toilet, I’ll lose it ! :) :)

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