turbo smrt
so after japanese it was time for a tan. the salon i favour had this really young un-smart chick working the front counter. once we were done making fun of the chav-looking dude in the front we go in. sidenote: aren’t tanning salons like the weirdest atmospheres ever? just a hallway of rooms with naked people in them desperately wanting to enhance the appearance of their bodies and everything is decorated like hawaii plus the most cheesed-out posters of tanned bronzed saved by the bell styled beach people grinning down at you. basically LOVE the shit. this is pretty much how the convo with tan girl goes, like two brick walls talking it was, on account of her low-iq and my being gunned.
me: hi is a super bed available? (assumed general standard known industry term for HIGHEST WATTAGE BULB bed. shorter time required for a darker tan i mean, DUH).
her: i don’t know what that bed is.
me: (totally confused) silent staring. uhm. ok.
her: silent staring
dave: SILENT
me: ok so whatever you call ‘em, turbo beds?
her: i don’t know what that is
me: (holy shit is this happening i am too baked for this non-conversation right now desperately hoping, waiting to bump into a smart person) uh ok so like the strongest bed you know? turning to dave for help…
dave: (is a statue)
me: (wild eyed, look to girl as well as chalkboard behind her head scanning for what i am trying to express what i want)
her: (BALL FINALLY DROPS) royal bed?
me: YES
the rest of the conversation is pointless. i just felt like a prisoner trapped in a stupid vortex. time stood still like that cop who called 911 when he and his wife ate weed brownies except i didn’t think i was dying, time just went by really really slow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1kTZRcKZ6Y
November 12th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
i would HAVE stormed OUT and gave them the finger.
idiots.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I’ve always kind of thought that tanning salons were where the relentlessly stupid found jobs, your experience seems to have confirmed that.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
that is hilarious. the only fun thing that happens where i tan is the girls NEVER remember me. and i could go on a tangent about it but i won’t i’ll just say i had OVER 500 minutes in my last package.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
i can do most things high, pretty much any normal thing and not be paro, but i don’t think id have the b’s to go tanning.
ooooooo CENTERED comments!
November 12th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
i have no idea why the comments are centered now
CENTRE STEPH
November 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
this makes me laugh.
Mainly because I managed a tanning salon for 3 years.
I however, have an IQ.
xo
November 12th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
you crossed my mind you did and do every time i tan. LESBO.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
hello ppl.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
HELLOOOOOOO i think you missed a cancer memo.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32187497/
November 12th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
omg can you please forget my last comment ever happened? and if you don’t remember or know what i’m talking about AWESOME. thanks
November 12th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
in the first photo i see a little rachel leigh cook, oh, and you too. so pretty!! you look confident.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:32 am
in spite of everything, you look happier in demeanor. but tired. getting your rest?
November 13th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Hahaha that video is hilarious!
November 13th, 2009 at 10:32 am
hilarious!
November 13th, 2009 at 11:16 am
that video was awesome! i think we’re dead. time is moving really really really slow. hahahaha….
November 13th, 2009 at 11:32 am
haha oh! that reminds me of the jian gomeshi/billy bob thorton interview.
November 13th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
cute shirt.
November 13th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
miss it?
November 13th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
dave: (is a statue)
that’s funny, man.
November 13th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
The tanning industry is losing revenue now since they are trying to regulate people under 25 from using the booths
It has now been proven that the reason young people, particularly women under 25 are showing signs of early cancer is indeed because of the tanning beds
As for the naked masses wanting to enhance or improve the appearance of their bodies
The first thing that comes to my mind when I see a very dark over tanned person is
“wow, thats alot of damage”
and the second this is
“what is this person trying to hide? are they not comfortable in thier own skin?
November 13th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Hot steamy tan-time thoughts.
I dig.
November 14th, 2009 at 3:34 am
There’s an additional clip to that video where you can see the weather girl wiping tears out of her eyes because she’s laughing so much.