i am the one hiding under your bed

contemplated way too many costume ideas. cher. victorian scullery maid. ninja. drunk christmas party slut. think i’ll stick with librarian/teacher. i shall carry an old book as a prop. dave‘s costume kills it, all my stuff obvs but i don’t have a beard so he takes it.

he’s left handed too though doesn’t play that way. not bringing out guitar so a flock of jocks can irritate me all nite long.

hangin’ with coug (mom) patrol tonite at a house party then to a pub? then maybe something with mara.

i know this song by heart, entire movie actually and it had (still is!) been a dream of mine to BE jack skellington in a play. i was scrooge once, i can pull off dude(s) pretty good. home alone as a kid/teen i’d recite the entire score of nightmare before christmas, speaking parts also and serenade the livingroom. COOL.

omg this is so much cooler!

ok marilyn now we can hang. getting ready song for the nite!

no one doesn’t like you

this dress is to be used in a video britt and i and others are going to be shooting next week starring this money-makin’ face. not supposed to reveal the dress whoops, it doesn’t exactly do up the back tho i am wearing an entire outfit beneath it so maybe we’re cool. i have a quarterback torso plus britt is six inches littler than me i am a whole other person on top of her.

i can be platinum by spring. haw.

gets donated, it sops up oil spills. who knew?

some other pics on my flickr.

rose you rule thanks for the sweet hair and the sweet afternoon (plus vino!) check her at brennen demelo. they’re movin’ on up they were at LG fashion week doin’ tricked out runway hairstyles. get in while you can.

mark it 8 dude

now here i am, first roll of the game and i get a strike. all downhill from there. well actually i got a spare on my next go then i jumped in the air slipped on the super waxed floor and almost had a date with some smashed teeth. that’s caught on video too haha.

just like that eh. i am ever so delicate.

you are so right.

love this side bar diner set-up. i’m frontin’ here cos peeps be confused by the live raymi show. high chair is a nice touch.

not as bubblegum as had anticipated. next i’ll get a matte baby pink.

nails haven’t been this long in ages. how i’m fending off tearing them all out these days is beyond me but of course in saying this, today will be the day surely. who’s shirly?

it was league night so we had time to kill which was perfect as i wanted to take as many pictures as possible of this scene.

was wondering why so many people were pretending to give a shit about the big match. oh right, world series. who won?

in diagram 1 we have my signature knock-kneed post-roll stance, way graceful.

diagram two displays my THAT WAS BULLSHIT walk of shame face.

again.

one more time there.

dave is a competitive m’f'er. he hasn’t even seen the big lebowski, went over the line too so i couldn’t rip on that one. just wait.

a healthy meal was inhaled.

ponytail was spying hard on our table.

no idea why though.

can’t wait to go lighter in the hair, are you excited too?

really love this print as i can relate to that woman. ha. her figure is pure inspiration.

i love when places get it right. not going back til past ten next time (or until the big lebowski is viewed) when it’s day-glow bowling and not teeming with leaguers.

they do not know you anymore

it hits you before you even enter.

reminds me of my old room at the crawford ghetto. i hung a huge pink silk piece of material over the window that i bought from a fabric store in little italy, it was essentially 80′s bridesmaid print, embossed flowers scattered all over it. had the exact same material for a bridesmaid dress but only in purple when i was 8. anyway it cast a soothing rose tint to the many hangovers spent in those coordinates.

on a bad day it makes you feel crazy.

modesty is for ugly people. not my quote.

meet the rat’s nest.

red things in the red room confuse the camera. that bear goes way back.

red cam.

draw the curtains, tidy your shit (not the bed), and you quickly feel sane again.

how’d this redundancy get overlooked?

i have to deal with my gym now, the fucking gym i stupidly joined. it’s so not funny that it’s funny.

and what the hell to be for halloween? might wear my victorian scullery maid costume or one of my ridiculous dresses. yes, i’ll go as a wizard.

business phones

drowning or bathing

preferring blurred currently.

in case you didn’t know where you were (ships).

so last week or so ate at this little mediterranean joint tucked away in a little plaza somewhere and their shawarma is on par with agabi, also their garlic sauce. so pumped over this. anyway, the girl serving us was very into us, as customers, or persons, derno. there was also a huge table overtaken by a post funeral party it seemed, or church group i don’t know, anyway their vibe compared to ours was not in the party zone, not like ours was but it forced us into comedic relief territory. so anyway the point of this nothing story is our young waitress was all what are you guys up to after this? rightly assuming cool people do more cool things after doing cool things. so i says dunno not much gonna go get high probably then she says i’m so fucking jealous. interesting. interesting when your server drops an f-bomb on your table. good for her.

so we go back last nite for munchies and on the way in a joke is made about this flirtatious chick, something like hey after this do you guys want to get high? then i quipped, girl, we’re only here because we are high.

then we go in and they’re blasting 90s gino beats slash techno, seriously can we have some ecstasy next, straight up scene was what we walked into and as it turns out they’re open til 4am on weekends, weekdays midnite. then this weirdo full-out drunk comes in wearing a porkpie hat, ron jeremy lookin’ character complete with mustache and asks the bartender (different girl this time though looked suspiciously like the other one) if he can get her a drink, like, 5 times. the awkward emanating from over yonder was palpable so when she came over to collect our check and asked if we needed anything else i said yeah i was wondering if i could buy you a drink. she busted up laughing. the guy had been barhopping “downtown” and it was dead apparently.

i have an enormous chin witch zit that is fucking with my game large right now it almost warrants not going out for 24 hours. i might buy it a cellphone.

i am excited for the new bubblegum pink nail polish i purchased yesterday. um yes i just said that.

young girl with eyes like the desert

orillia cottage junk part two fifty days later and irrelevant.

the order of these makes me want to strangle whatever the best thing to strangle ever is ugh whyyyy flickr whyyy?

thanks for the mom jeans, mom. we trade/share zellers request jeans cos they’re the only cheap ones in existence that can handle our chicken thighs. and i’m wearing leggings beneath these.

i’m also super bored and irritated at this point in time. more electrical work had to be done, not by me, and everyone else was doing yard work and there was a slight detection of tension in the air. you know when someone tidies up all around you they are basically FUCK YOU cleaning all aggressive-like so you’re forced to move as far away as possible ugh COOL thanks. even if you offered help they’d refuse it, you’d do it wrong, not their way, but still get punished (passive aggression) for it anyway? one way to deal with this is by cracking a beer and sluggin’ half it down while walking away so they have a vision to shake their head by while they furiously paint.

meanwhile nite before hung tired crabby trying to get power in the dark. the job was switching from fuse box to breaker.

jesus, have fun with that.

i lit 40 candles. even their special ones. took great satisfaction out of it.

EW. that one really grossed me out.

amazing wood stove.

note to self. adjective brother and his bros frequently use. for example: henry drank a dickload of beer.

omg these things. i’m pointing to the spoiled brat of the bunch. nice rock of love pants TURN UP THE POISON PLEASE.

nice things though, the one on the outside growled at wiley and sage. yes. five dog weekend.

keep it together.

biting my lip here cos something was just said that set me off. secretly snarked out all weekend. sometimes one nite too many gets spent overstaying your welcome at someone’s cottage and everyone has to walk around feigning manners and by the time you leave you want to pour an entire pitcher down your throat. the only solution is getting your own cottage. i would love to go greater into detail but i feel bitchy enough already.

i think dave got busted referring to the little one as a little rat. they didn’t say anything about it though. the actual quote was “get out of here you little rat” HAHAHAHA aw. he was just bitter from working.

gorgeous.

dinner reward.

this is how you get me to eat potatoes. as a kid i hated them so much. baked in tinfoil on the bbq is delish.

good morning.

do you like the shift from drinking blog to drinking weed jokes blog?

why not.

gahahaha.

that doesn’t even look real to me. i don’t know what i’m trying to say.

nice bush camo jacket i can’t even SEE you is that a floating cigarette?

not a chance in hell i could/would take a video while riding that shit.

then i added fear of being shot by hunters to the list.

oh you betcha. when in rome…

look i can be classy while being classy.

take notes.

i realised that “part two” of orillia was really just 60 photos of me playing spicoli.

LETS ORDER A PIZZA.

hair appointment has been made. more blond more more MORE.

OUTTIE!

pukebee’s. the bartender was amazed by the addition of oj to beer. don’t you need a smart serve to be a bartender in a chain establishment therefore you’d know about this shit? rickard’s white plus orange slice? too fancy for barrie? was that barrie?

barf. not mine but still.

my ridiculous meal concoction was actually delicious but not an hour later. or for the rest of the night. beneath that cheese thing, well, that cheese thing IS chicken.

i know this post sucked you don’t have to tell me.

LOVE YOU.

turn the white snow red as strawberries

so dropped in on the local gas station last nite after some errands, saw they have a little atm thing for my bank so i ran in to grab some cash then decided to grab one of those starbucks tallboy vanilla drinks, that took me two seconds so i set it on the counter and waited. the merchant (this huge obvious bulldyke and yes it’s relevant, crucial to my story even, so shut up)(so isn’t haha) was having a conversation with some guy (customer) before i entered and continued to do so while i stood there waiting to pay for my drink. she knew i was standing there patiently, but still chatted away with her friend. i waited 2 minutes, no bitchy vibes, all casual ‘cept for the hand on hip i added that effect at the very end. merchant still in the doorway gabbin’ away one last chance nope still talkin’ yeah i have all nite to stand here cool. so i grab my money purse, tuck it under my arm and march toward her. she’s blocking the entire doorway so i kinda have to steamroll through, she moves and says oh excuse me, then realises her gaff (spies my drink on the lottery ticket counter) rushes out behind me and yells I’M SORRY ABOUT THAT! yeah sure, i’m sure you are. i just said something like yeah it’s ok or don’t worry about it as i walked away, got in the truck dave was on the phone unawares of this passive aggressive showdown i am about to win so i interrupt and say GO! and we go while she is standing out there looking like a real smart specimen. i did feel cunty but that’s the only way you can teach these people. you rude me, i rude you back. i didn’t want that drink anyway it was an impulse thing.

this woman recognizes us too cos we go there for stoner snacks at retarded hours, bags of chocolate and whatever. guess won’t be doing that anymore. sucks when you have to teach your friends a lesson. well actually she has never seen me before but she knows the truck so basically she was my friend but didn’t know it though we aren’t friends anymore because she BLEW IT. just kidding i already forgive her.

this storm out i highly recommend. i’ve seen it done before, had it done to me before during super busy saturdays with gobs of people all around the cash out, then it’s just funny on them for bailing after committing so long to the line-up. once you reach a certain point you have to stick it out for the long haul and purchase your goods but if it’s only a short while you can pull a jerry maguire flip out exit.

another day in the life of awesome.

my insane laugh

this is what a lightbulb going off in someone’s head sounds like coming out of said person. feel free to watch this over and over again.

it occurs to me that people viewing my blog via blackberry/iphone whathaveyou, may not be able to see my videos if they aren’t flash enabled snore snore zzz so from here on in i shall accompany each embedded video with its hyperlinked url starting now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3smZVNW97g. i bid you adieu.