totally lazy sunday by the time we got off the highway we were falling asleep so had to get some coffee before dinner. we are not caffeine later in the day types at all. i pulled up my socks for sophie (some animals don’t like touching bare skin) and appear to look like i am wearing retention socks.
this dress has brought me oodles of guilt. oodles of never wearing it guilt, so i decided to do something about it then instantly regretted it upon looking at photos of me wearing it long. i think it was just a bad day, a fat water retaining pig day.
i am also way too flat for the bust of it, someone hugely stacked must have owned it. i took it in some more at the waist also. coincidentally keira emailed me yesterday Do you have any tried and true tips for cutting off jeans into jean shorts? and my response i just sent was this:
put on the jeans
stare at ass in mirror
with finger draw imaginary line at where feel comfortable cutting ie how much thigh/ass you wanna show
memorize the line
take off, lie them on bed
if u forget where the line is draw a tiny tick with ink slightly lower than where u initially chose in case u wimp out on how short u made them – u can always repeat cutting a hair shorter if need be
then cut away
if you want the instant frayed look then just tug at the dangling strands but everyone knows once theyre washed and dried that’s how u get the frays
her reply was already done i was in a hurry. good work too. i forgot to mention some people want extra length so they can have a slutty fold with frays. ok moving on.
it’ll grow on me when i go back to feeling skinny again.
sophie was lookin’ like that sassy little french cat from labyrinth.
i need to buy a lint brush for my purse.
crazy storm out of nowhere on the ride back, storming during the sunset. i like how we just cannot get over sun showers, it makes us temporarily brain damaged or something, we all remark upon it. it’s not like an eclipse guys, relax. i think mostly it’s just the beauty that stops us in our tracks and even the most hardened of persons cannot deny the special thing they have witnessed.
lots of rainbows these days.
i like earth reminders, specifically planet reminders. i can see the land and the clouds and the sky and sun beyond it here. there is more to this than just us. can you tell i’m reading miranda july right now hahaha.
here i am considering how deep it all is.
take a hike eh. this was yesterday. notice how my tan brings out my upper thigh stretchmarks (from adolescent growth spirt). lovely. the only place on my body where they are. no wait not true there’s some rockin’ out on my love handles too. not very noticeable, only so when i tan. which is constantly so i guess i’m makin’ no sense here.
added some bacon vodka to our jerk dinner of whatever was left over in the fridge unspoiled. the burnt parts on the veggies is called “the fond” ask fil about it zzzz. kidding.
you can tell the days i don’t shower cos makeup looks fucked.
grease attack, bangs would you just grow already.
same kerouac postcard i gave my papa. i had never seen that photo before.
see how tiny this thing is!
you still need to come over and see with your own eyes you will not believe it.
this was in the mailbox when we got home from the cottage.
i will just share this email with you to explain it.
so ill have you know that the gay friend you mailed me has become “a thing” between fil and i
we hide it on each other
we used to hide my old dildo that no longer works but i threw it out during a fight for good
the last place i hid it was in the cat food bag and fil found it during said fight and just left it on the counter
too bad the timing cos it was the best hiding place yet
anyway the gay friend we hide in each others shoes on top of door frames
fil put him in my necklace bag when i went away and it made me cry
and he even mailed it to me from work and got someone else to address the envelope so i would be surprised when i opened it
so now it’s been upped for real
he lived in the shower with us for awhile being shoved into bottles and loofahs and having a half bloated body
basically thanks kirsty!