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not kidding

Michael: So I just found out. Telling u because I dont know u personally. I have terminal brain cancer! Yay! Had to get that out

me: are you serious?

Michael: yup

me: wow
how old are you
im v sorry to hear this

Michael: 38 and its cool, im cool with it
I had to practice on you before i told my family

me: aw dude
good luck
how long do you have..

Michael: 6 month to a year. I will miss reading your blog. Been reading for years
and yes i stumbled upon you because of your boobs lol

me: wow
how long have you been a reader
let me interview you soon and blog it and exploit the crap out of you ;)
when did you find out
are you in wicked shock

Michael: sure thing u can interview me, i kinda expected it so shock is not an issue
found out today

me: why did you expect it
how have you been feeling

Michael: i have been having memory loss and seizurs for the last month, and my dad died from it so, yeah I expected it. I get bad headaches and throw up alot but i feel fine now

me: wow
i am so sorry

Michael: its ok, really. Now that I know, I am morbidly excited

me: wow
do you believe in an afterlife

Michael: thats the thing, I REALLY want to know what happens when you die. I am open to anything, I just want to KNOW
and maybe haunt some people

me: i kind of think u just shut off
like u know when u have a deep sleep and u wake up and are like wow that was long where did i go

Michael: well if there is anything, i promise to visit you and scare the shit out of you in the shower or something :)

me: !!
well i just bought a blonde wig
if that makes u happy

Michael: looks good, but i prefer your normal look, and damm, looks like ur boobs got bigger in pic imgp7071

me: HAHA
its the shirt
its an xs
my tits are deceptively small looking

Michael: oh ive seen them, you are a very beautiful woman, tits and all

me: ha thanks
im looking for u on my fb
is yer middle name *****

Michael: email me an interview and ill do it, and keep up the good work. you’re very talented, crazy but talented

me: ha crazy

Michael: in a good way

me: ok stay in touch

Michael: will do, thanks for talking

me: chat me anytime

Michael: k, have a good one. bye

me: byebyebye


so i asked michael if we could do a book together – dying dude and chick who isn’t dying have daily chats, but then i thought it wouldn’t be fair to him for it to come out after he dies, it would be nicer for him to get immediate feedback from my blog and maybe make some new pals and get some pity sex out of it (his words not mine re: the pity sex)(and he’s not bad looking) so i’ve decided to do a regular installment on my blog of our chats. i think we can all get something out of this, feel free to ask michael questions in the comments when you are done crying.

also if you have any advice on how michael can deliver this news to his mom and brothers, let us know. i told him to watch the scene from reality bites when steve zahn does a little vignette with Janeane Garofalo about telling his parents he’s gay for the first time.

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