HUG

before the long blondes we slummed at the beer station and these guys were sitting across from each other lip synching to bohemian rhapsody like fully synchronized, i loved them. oh and there was a full pitcher between them too i think they were cocked, and certainly sharing a special moment. one had really feathery hair for a dude.

sooooooooo xenia (the one who keeps dreaming about me) told me about this stuff called rescue remedy and apparently it cures hangovers, takes away booze anxiety, you know when you’re so mangled you feel like the entire universe is staring at you right down to your fucking SOUL and you don’t know what to do? well this stuff counteracts it, it’s hippie dippie homeopathic mumbo jumbo probably right? we got rightly pissed enough last nite so naturally i woke up hunglor this morning and gave her a test. i wasn’t exactly hung-hung, on a scale of one to ten hung i’da gave myself a 7, but i’m a pro by now so who knows what that would be for you, probably an 11.

here we go with the rescue remedy tour! this was 16 bucks, supposed to be 18 but the granola nerds at noah’s have been slacking in the sticker prices dept. and yes of course one chick was rude to me there what else is new, it’s not noah’s if you don’t walk out wanting to straight up murder someone.

i also tried it last nite when i wasn’t hungover or drunk maybe residual hangover from the previous nite, four drops on my tongue as we walked home and then nothing, but i did notice a change when we were driving to the supermarket, i felt pacified and stupid, a little slow, weakly tranquilized, so i guess it works. i felt like if fil ripped into a debate with me i would not be able to defend myself.

this is what i look like right now save for the dumb glasses, these pants were my safety pants last summer (already cut to the knee) and now they’re a bit baggy, l.o.v.i.n.g.i.t.

you can also put 4 drops into a glass of water, that’s dumb though, this stuff tastes like nothing.

shhh i’m scientisting.

oh i forgot to do the BEFORE picture.

yay i’m skinny and it’s gonna be a bright and sunshiney day!

uh meanwhile….

we watched this truly adorable movie last nite called bombon le chien, a movie clerk wrote on the box that it made them happy so we got it, i said ok if this dog ends up dying i’m going to be really fucking angry, fil remained optimistic throughout but i couldn’t just relax and go with it. the dog lives everyone. the story is about a man who is down on his luck, makes homemade knives, he’s out of work, lives with his daughter who is always yelling, and this man is so sweet, endearing and completely breaks your heart, i think i aww’d 100 times, anyway, he gets this dog and his luck changes, luck just rains down on him and you feel so happy cos he is so cute and deserves it. rent it if you are on your period.

i’ve been diligent (somewhat) over on jamie‘s blog if you care.

and the pitch pipe i gave brad for his birthday BECAUSE I AM THE MOST GENEROUS PERSON IN THE WORLD. it’s the same pipe my dad got me and i weighed it’s sentimentality of course and thought my dad would be happier if an actual musician put it to good use instead of my knick knack shelf.

oh and if you were trying to figure out what to do with your stupid selves tomorrow nite this band hello beautiful is playing at the horseshoe. saturday nites at the shoe is what we typically end up doing when we can’t come up with anything else to do, it’s a sure thing, then we come home and time shift catch SNL. oh and i’m not saying after you have weighed all your other options go to the shoe i’m saying, YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THE IDEA.

broken glass from other birthday partiers, we sang to brad happy birthday and they started singing along thinking we were singing to their friend and i did the slicing neck motion to them to fuck off then they approached us and said brad and this girl should be friends cos they share the same birthday, right, that’s how it works.

the moment matt left WITHOUT PAYING for his pints hahahahhaha.

gill noticed the budd clan walking by and nabbed ‘em, brad wasn’t planning on having a big PARty (nfld pronunciation) but it turned into one anyway that’s for fucking sure.

my pipes and lovely face.

gill is not going to like that i have this up, i like her hair curly, it’s like crazy meets orphan annie meets more crazy.

another budd, remember these guys? they put on the dodgeball thing.

nice ski slope i have growing out of my face much?

i was not planning on drinking this nite, just so’s you know.

my cellphone charm bit the dust so any cute scouts oot thare wantsing to replenish my phone with more cute, be my guest.

brad was flush with overwhelminity by our love and friendship right brad i think i even saw a tear at one point.

DIRTY THIRTY!

ok so i had an important brain breakthrough the other day i just remembered now so here i will share it with you hold on tight, so, i dye my hair black yeah? and it’s completely greasy on the top of my head all the time even after washing it and i stopped using hair product but still the grease, what gives? well here comes the light bulb, i deduced it’s cos i had mad roots on the top of my head, natural hair like a good 4 inches long since i last dyed it so plop some dye on god’s hairs and it cannot deal. there you go, that’s what i figgered all on my own no thanks to any of you.

the point of this is i am not washing my hair today, fuck it.

we saw the long blondes last nite and once matt said the singer was hot i got mad and only took pictures of her legs and i told fil he couldn’t take any more shots of her, she was karen o-ing all over the place. fil said she wasn’t hot. i was thinking ok so on a crazy metre of 1-10 for telling your bf he can’t take pictures of an alleged hot chick on stage, where are we at? then i carried this over to ok would i let him photograph a hot naked babe on her bed, no i wouldn’t, so bob’s your uncle FIL YOU GOT ENOUGH SHOTS AND WE’RE DONE HERE.

see i’ve got like 50 pervy shots like these.

however, this guy in the wings was my favourite, bleary eyed drunk, we think they all were, he was just so there and not there.

i got a bit self conscious thinking everyone would think i was wearing shorts cos the singer was which lead to rage.

i drew you a picture. blurry cos two chicks came in flanking stalls on either side of me and i wondered ok if i recorded the sound of them peeing, would i go to jail?

i let fil make me dinner cos i let him use his semen wand on me when he came home from work ahahhahahAHHAHA. bunny made that term up when we watched john and kate plus 8.

then we went to the tap wherein i mistook thom (of major maker) for the bartender who works there i go OH IT’S YOUR NITE OFF AWESOME! everytime i see thom i forget who he is, what a dick i know!

lindy was there too he gave me props on my outfit. i asked if i could be in their next video, natch, they’re looking for asians.

enter chris, the guy i thought thom was, WEARING THE SAME FUCKING OUTFIT AS THOM come on people give me a chance here!

zombies!

this is jeanette from the nite of the nxne conference who became my bestie for awhile there, i asked her if she was this girl i knew from kindergarten, she wasn’t. that was the nite that gave me a three day hangover and i wanted to die. after holding off beer for a long time then having a million FREE glasses of the shit, bad idea, lesson learned. for now.

winningest outfit of the day

fil came home, buttoned my shirt up, and said those are his tits. ok sure, but it’s ok on the internet?

one more for the road, i may or may not smash a glass in this video.

and might i add that it’s not what i am doing in these little vids that matters, it’s fact that i am doing them at all, for you lonely lonely sad people. HUG.

xenia keeps dreaming about me

oh god raymi i had another dream about you
i walked into a bar and you were there then we both looked at the hall and there was a scale, but in its package, like a weight scale, and for some reason it was hilarious?
do you think i’ll dream about you every day?
and the harder I’ll try not to the worst it’ll be?
whats gonna happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW TO HAVE A SHITTY BLOG like mine no yours!

hey look, it’s me on shrooms dust and drunk and dancing from 2005!

hahhahha

you’ll note that i am NOT playing the guitar in this, anyway, i am a raspy whispery shy ghost here because it was totally impromptu.

i am so sick of this song now

oh and before you call me loser pants mcloser again i DO have a job you know, and this is it! sucker!

but i did just land one more new one (can you put one in a sentence twice like that like in the definition of a word using that same word to define it ungh good thing my job isn’t editor) anyway the moral of the story is GO ME!