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i am no good for you i’m seeing ghosts in everything i do

last nite was dank’s surprise brithday party that we didn’t go to EVEN THOUGH I PAINTED MY FINGERNAILS TO MATCH MY SWEATER because it was at montana’s (i know) and all those guys are old with kids, we were going to show up after they all ate (after the surprise too which was a miscommunication (not on my part radmad!) who goes to a surprise party after the surprise?) anyway we went out to green room with rad and craig and anita instead, happy 40th dank!

i can’t believe you anita, so stupidly generous and thoughtful.

every time we hang sarah and i talk about our favourite story which is the first time we met and how much she DIDN’T not like me haha, it’s a good story.

these chicks to my right behind me gave us cut eye A LOT, whatever the ally sheedy look isn’t working you have bigger problems right now honey.


guess how old craig is.

before i got up to go to the bathroom i said now look at all the people who check me out (dudes when i drink my ego inflates like cray cray shut up) and the only one who did was this hot little tattooed asian chick you can see her arm in this picture, she nodded and smiled at me like she could read my mind that she knew that i knew that we were on a wavelength ok i can’t finish this stupid joke, basically if i were a dude i would be one of those white dudes with an asian lady and be all in denial over my fetish. how funny are those dudes other than EXTREMELY and not on purpose either. oh i miss ward.

radmad is looking younger and younger which is good cos she’s essentially a fossil by today’s standards wow ouch i must be in pre-menses phase already.

craig had a mild interest in a girl across the room who looked like natalie portman (i thought so) until i pointed out her huge forehead. oh me don’t we love me.

look paige it’s that couch you blogged about.

lets play guess what nationality i am tonite.

oh ‘nita.

ok enough craig.

i asked him to take my picture and this is what he does.

TWICE! i didn’t ask you to zoom!

fuck i’ll do it myself what else is new.


when we left this dude peddles up to fil asking us for a smoke and says he wishes he had a nice girl like me, he’d have a girlfriend too if he was born white but he’s native and fil goes BUT I’M OJIBWE (part!) ahahahah then the guy goes I’D KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF oh man why are we such native magnets you’re welcome pitt.

then i made us this and we watched a thing on insects on national geographic on demand that we just discovered last nite can’t wait to watch them all FOR FREE.

then i fell asleep with a drink in my hand and it spilled ALL OVER ME my hair underwear body bed pillow everywhere so i had to get my big towel and sleep on that, fil woke up this morning wtf why is your towel here and i had to tell him and i was really bummed about it (that’s never happened to me before) and he laughed his head off, maybe i was in my sleep going for another sip and then sloshed it all over my head, must have. then of course fil has to tell me his falling asleep with a drink in his hand skills (i’ve heard this a million times) still holding his beverage yeah yeah shut up. he’s all WHY IS YOUR UNDERWEAR ON THE FLOOR well WHY DO YOU THINK JESUS SHUT UUUUUUUUUP!

1:13 in is the best part of this entire movie, my brother and i (and fil) imitate this exchange all the time.

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