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ask aunt raymi

Dearest Aunt Raymi,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. We are very happy together, despite the occasional fight about delicious confections. However, China is about to fuck everything up. Michael does ceramics, and it seems as though China is presenting the best opportunity for him to further his education and gain experience so he can achieve the ceramics fame that he has always dreamed of. This fantastic opportunity clearly breaks my heart a little. He feels as though the simple solution is for me to pack up and move to Jingdeshen. I work a 9-5 office job to which I’m not at all attached. I like to write, and I figure I can do that anywhere, so I’m not leaving behind any of dreams to help chase his. I would hate to leave Kristina. If he were moving to some amazing European country, this would not be a question. I just don’t know how I feel about China. So, what do I do?


dearest melissa,

well first off, long distance relationships for me are out of the question, i’ve cheated on every dude, well i think there was only one, and he sure as hell cheated on me too. you should read my friend liane‘s blog, she lives in shanghai, has for a long time and has a successful long distance relationship somehow

so basically you have to follow him there, like scarlett johansson in lost in translation, except china not japan

your number one thing is money, you need it, you need to have a job, because every single fight you have will be centered around it if you don’t have it, combined with a new environment and minimal friends to bounce frustrations off of, that is an explosive combo and your relationship will suffer for it. as long as you both have money, then you’re cool, all the other things you guys normally bicker about will still be present.

if you are viewing this as a temporary thing to do or are at the stage where you need to find yourself, do you think china is the right place for it? i mean, it’s a natural thing to assume that a big move will fix whatever we don’t like about our current situation. but if it’s love and you really aren’t giving anything up dream-wise, then why not eh? you can always come home, the downfall is there’s a possibility of coming home alone. give it a try, if it fails, you can say to your boyfriend you tried his thing now it’s his turn to try your thing, if you plan to stick together come what may, and really, how long does it take to learn ceramics anyway?

love aunt raymi


BARF! For Mr Deaves the sexual relationship was “absolutely fantastic”. yeah, thanks for the mental picture. well at least they have senses of humour, i mean, you’d have to, by naming your incest spawn a name that rhymes with incest. guys shh be quiet here comes incest celeste!

ps. i found your mom’s blog.

Oooh, if you take those blue panty shots into photoshop, do the magic wand to select just the blue part and click Auto-Levels (Makes see-through clothing mostly disappear) you get a better view of Raymi’s Bush. I highly recommend it.
G. I. Poo | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 04.16.08 – 7:05 pm | #

probably the fruitiest comment yet.
raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 04.16.08 – 7:12 pm | #

OMFG!!!! do NOT hit that dude’s blog url, you’ve been warned!

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