i can’t believe people give a shit so much about lance bass being gay they’re acting as if there was cheesecake at the weight watcher’s party FUCK OFF BORING BORING BORING. i do however think it a very clever coming-out strategy, wait ’til zero people on the face of the earth give a care about you and your career THEN come out and that’s why there are a jillion tabloid articles about you and ET exclusives like hello isn’t there a war in lebanon or something right now i TOTALLY forgot cos this HUGE GAY BASS NEWS ECLIPSED THE WAR ENTIRELY! selfish.

anyway i was phased for maybe three seconds, my eyebrows raised and then i was like well DUH and the only reason i hadn’t bothered concluding this before is oh right I DON’T CARE. lance bass is the boringest bore to ever bore i am so overwhelmingly bored of this subject as i type it that i need to lay down on my fainting couch, siiigh.

ps you are best friends with that annoying red hair comedian witch who is the epitome of no thanks i’m gay for all men so get a clue world what?

this week i am going to buy the perfect dress. i have three weddings to go to, one in september and two in october. this dress needs to have stains already on it. maybe i will buy three dresses? borrow one buy two? anyway i tried one on the other day and it made me look super retardedly flat-chested like the girl on the bleachers at the school dance who no one sits near or dances with except when/if i rock it i will be dance machine 3000 i’m considering buying it for comedic purposes seriously if you see me in it you will be like HAHAHA and want to be my best friend forever and we will go puddle-jumping with wet busted cigarettes hanging out of our mouths.

we scored the master bedroom saturday nite, good thing. i have never slept in a tent in my entire life and it almost came to that but good thing our host had already drunken the universe and we paid for his smokes before fil asked for a room.

on our way up i took a bunch of videos of the rain and thunder and we were storm chasers so i kept saying THIS IS HELEN HUNT REPORTING LIVE FROM UP NORTH BLA BLA BLA i am funny. i also have a bunch of firework videos. wait ’til you see ‘em and all my drunken OH MY GODS ARE THEY SUPPOSE TO EXPLODE LIKE THAT and no one answering me.

that’s duke. i don’t want to jinx it but i have a pretty good feeling that we are BFF, don’t tell. he slept with us and i had to get up with him at 7 to pee and then he pranced around the bed like a little horse for hours on my head and chest and fil. good thing we aren’t dog stealers cos duke would so totally be stolen to the extreme!!

i’m guessing this is spam, i’m hoping it isn’t though:

Hello, I am here !

Hello my new friend.
My age is 27 years. My birthday is April, 11, 1979. I was born in the
city of Kazan. This city is located on territory
Russia federation. My name is Karina. I have higher education.
I am very hardworking person. I am very responsible the
person. I am the nice girl. I have no harmful habits. I do not
smoke, I do not drink, I do not use drugs. I am very romantic. I am very
cheerful, I was good spend the leisure. My hobby: I love sports, in
particular volleyball, tennis, swimming. I like to read! I love to
learn new things. I like to study culture of others are strange. I had
no the husband (I was not married earlier) I have no children, I like
children. The purpose of my acquaintance – I search the satellite for
the man, I want to find love, I want to create real family. I had no
opportunity to create family in Russia, I could not find the partner
in life in Russia.
My friend, if you have interested to me, that answer
to my e-mail: karina@moscowlights.com
I will be waiting your reply with big impatience.
Your new friend Karina from Russia.

we are going to the cottage yay if pitt isn’t too gay/busy, comments will be moderated by him. if not then have a good saturday i hope i don’t blow my fingers off tonite even tho it would be sort of cool in a novelty-type way if i had blown off fingers like HEY HERE COMES MY BLOWN OFF FINGERS FRIEND SHE’S FUCKING COOOOOOL.