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i always wanted a man’s sweater that was striped red and green and had a zipper on it and a collar and now i have one because some unlucky hack left it all hung by itself on the wall and forgot about it so i stuffed it in my left sleeve and then i looked like i had a robotic arm that was fatter than my right arm and i was a good peter sellers sleuth type and before i left i turned around and pointed at the room and said YOU’VE BEEN MINXED!

ok no i didn’t.

i feel guilty about the sweater now like there is going to be an article about it in the gossip town times and then i’ll have to bury it in the backyard and then i will be on city pulse with a sweatshirt on my head and my lawyer will be shoving the camera away.

i’m so hung/dehydrated i feel 90 years old.

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