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we’ve been renting a lot of shitty movies lately and it’s not like we planned for them to be shitty on purpose. it just turned out that way. maybe it’s because we’re loaded the whole way through and extra critical and catty. derno.

last nite for example, it was the league of extraordinary gentlemen, and it took me maybe ten minutes to realise that it was suppose to be one of those far-fetched comic book style type films because one guy was all invisible and stuff.

i found myself almost asking if dracula was actually real then i almost asked if that whole dr. jeckyl crap actually happened but i didn’t and i was proud of myself for that. sometimes i am just not at all smart and it’s only because my brain works super fast and so common sense is neglected once in awhile.

i’m hoping to get some of that back after new year’s when i sober up my shit.

ok so back to the crappy movie thing.

watching the special features made me feel bad for sean connery because he says oh i was offered the matrix script and i didn’t understand it so i turned it down.

and then he says he was offered the lord of the rings script and he turned that down also because he didn’t get it, as in the whole far-fetchery aspect.

!!!!!!

and so since both those films made a ton of sweet mula once the doorknob who scripted the league of extraordinary gentlemen approached him sean connery was all yaaaaaaaa this is gonna be a blockbuster because all this crazy stuff that i don’t understand happens in it so it must be like lord of the rings.

wrong.

my professional movie watching opinion for this movie is that it was a magical piece of masturbatory comic book gay o thon waste of money and maybe if they didn’t rely on sean connery’s star status to carry the thing they may have cleaned up a little better at the box office. any movie where i roll my eyes at least 5 times during tells me that it is crap.

i rolled my eyes at least 20 times.

the thing is suppose to take place during 1899 but there are all these 1920s inspired costumes and even a tank and a fucking car. come on!

and i didn’t see one boob or penis or bare ass!

and the invisible guy is just too clever and funny.

nobody has the capacity to be such a smart ass in 1899. sarcasm wasn’t even invented yet!

we also rented anchorman.

after seeing will ferrell’s performance in Elf i was expecting to laugh every 20 seconds so hard that snot would be shooting out of my nose and ears with saliva everywhere but i wasn’t.

it’s ‘cos they were focusing on the whole women as anchorwomen equal rights crap which is fine and all, bla bla we get it, we know, but i don’t want to be learning a lesson in a will ferrell movie when i am drinking and it’s “the holidays”. still there are funny one-liners and such but i can’t remember any of them, not a one.

the only thing that sticks out is that one guy who screams when he talks and doesn’t understand what is going on. that’s pretty funny.

after watching napoleon dynamite, every other attempt at humour is like, don’t even bother.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungh.

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