ya so i’m obsessed with this jack-off lube called liquid silk. it’s awesome. i dream about it. it looks like cum and feels like it. and i wanna get a vibe, like finally. i dream about it all the time. and of drinking water and milk. do you ever have that dream where you’re pissing and then you start to pee yerself. that is the greatest feeling ever but it’s pretty pissy. literally. doink. ehm.

this water is awesome.

when you do a google image search for raymi the minx this is the first picture that comes up.

there’s a place where lovers go

to cry their troubles away

and they call it

lonesome town

where the broken hearts stay

you can buy a dream or two

to last you all

through the years

and the only price you pay

is a heart full of tears

going down to lonesome town

where the broken hearts stay

going down to lonesome town

to cry my troubles away

in the town

of broken dreams

the streets are filled with regret

maybe down in lonesome town

i can learn to forget

maybe down in lonesome town

i can learn to forget

i’m not going to smoke pot anymore. i think i am going to get my eyebrow pierced even tho someone told me it’s too butch. whatever that’s me then. anti and i don’t date anymore. i dunno if anyone even knew about that shit or even cared. we are still friends. always. yesterday i had too much liquid cocaine. blek.

help raymi get a new laptop because she can’t even play her faourite yahho game and wants to kill herself. she can’t even open word documents or wordpad for f’s sake! she would upload pictures every other minute for you guys too if you helped. do it. she can’t have msn open and blogger at the same time wtf.

i finally painted my ho-nails so i don’t have junky toes anymore.

dear douglas coupland

hi i am 21 now did you remember my birthday? that’s ok if you didn’t because i don’t even know when yours is. you must be like a hundred by now. what have you been doing with your life? are you happy? why don’t you buy a dog? that would be rad.

i have to do more with my life. what should i do? i want to build stuff and be a carpenter or something. i liked putting together crap at the hardawre store when i worked there. ya.

i had a paranoid freakout today and that is why i am not going to smoke pot anymore. fuck that noise. i was walking to the cig shoppe and every car i saw or noise i heard set me off. it always happens when it rains, you know. well i’m baked right now and i am fine. just a test. one more test. tomorrow i am not going to smoke anymore. well i’ll smoke cigs but that’s it. how long do you think i will last?

what did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? oiii’matey! (like i’m eighty. get it? do you think i’m funny? clever?)

i need to think of more funny farticles to write. got any leeds? man they got us working in shifts. i need a new book idea.

ok i have to go find a picture of you now. bye. thinking of you.

i heart you



bigtanky is a rollerskating whore who is stupid hot and has long black hair and is into goth and being told she is going to be stabbed violently a lot. another bigtanky name is goth larue and um, i don’t know any other names but i think bigbonkanti does.

bigtanky is married to hewhocannotbenamed and they live merrily in a tiny little flower house in redundified beach. other hewhocannotbenamed titles: zak attack, zack morris, yo that is zak’d?

zak’d works with some flamer fag with a flamer lamer car and has like frilly flamer hair i imagine and wears scarves and is absolutely fabulous.

bigtanky and them know people who are little

they all live in with crocodile dundee.

and don’t forget whitey and the viking too.

bigtanky’s ass not raymi’s ass. thanks.

why do bathroom attendants have to make you feel so damn guilty for drying yer hands with the shit papertowel they give you and then deny you using the complimentary perfumes and eating four mints just ‘cos you don’t have tip money? bitch i’ll get my own papertowel, thanks.

and what’s with chinese old lady variety store owners who forget your face everyday and ask you for id then say they don’t have yer smokes and then take the candy out of yer hand and put it back in the bin with the lid on and then you say oh do i need id for that too? and then yer dad walks in and then they are all nice all of a sudden and say how pretty you are and they also shave off their forehead eyebrows and draw them back on.

what’s up with that?

and why are girls only nice to you when you are mean to them after months of you being nice?

what what

and why do my friends never show up when they say they will? i think i’ve complained about this before. i have.

there is nothing more satisfying than jamming q-tips in yer ears. q-tips are luxury items i think, an afterthought really. not everyone has them, you know. but when you come across a box of them in yer friend’s bathroom after going weeks without q-tipping yer head off it’s like woah nelly, fun times. serious.

avril lavigne’s new video is such garbage. who can believe a crappy love whiney song from someone who looks like a 13 yr. old chickadee? and like she’s all rich as shit but she’s in this seedy hotel room and who wears running shoes with tube sox and underwear when they’re sleeping in bed?


I slipped away I slipped on a little white lie We got heads on sticks You got ventriloquists We got heads on sticks You got ventriloquists Standing in the shadows at the end of my bed [x4] Rats and children follow me out of town Rats and children follow me out of town Come on kids…

today i am just a miserable mucky mess.

ok lets talk about towels. yes towels. sometimes they smell really bad but there’s nothing else so you’re forced to dry off with ‘em and then you reek like a smelly towel all day long and other people’s dirty greasy hands too. some towels look pretty but they’re shittily absorbant, you know those beach towels that only have the little loopy things on one side. useless. you can wrap them around and around your body forever and feel like a fluorescent green with yellow polka dots popsicle or something gay like it. you may as well airdry with towels like that, they do nothing.

that’s enough about towels for now.