hi ho. it’s hot in tha’ city and shit. raining off and on. wet hussy nite at the b-side is still on JULY 11. be there or be square. been on and off the sauce. bbq’s and tanlines.


email from a pussy/queef fan:

when I am inside and her pussy farts I think it feels good, not the sound but the feeling it gives. it happens allot when she is on top then we change and I get on top. I put it in and on the out stroke that’s when the air gets the chance to escape. feels good, I also think its funny.

This is the funniest thing i’ve seen lately.DRINKING SAVES. it’s true.

“Dude, do i have dust on my ear cuz i just scratched it.”

“No but you have hair dye stains on your earlobe.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

dyed my hair black with a hint of blue. nice shade. sucks that it stained my hands, fingers, forehead and neck. meh. it’ll eventually wear off. i hope. went to this mean little party last nite. challenged this dude who was talking shit to a dance contest in front of everyone. he went first and did this goofy little number. then i went and rocked it ’til the cows came home. the dude offered up a bourbon after that. i said no. don’t much like bourbon and also, i was plastered enough. geez, dance contest? come on. i have also decided to bring skipping back to the streets. wanna join my rock ‘n roll jump rope gang? it’ll be so dope. just wait. the first thing you’ll learn is the “skip attack” in which you throw your rope around someone and attempt to skip them to death. it’s gold. i tried to skip up the stairs and almost did a faceplant. pretty dangerous business.

so i’m at my new pad and i’m unpacking all my stuff and i have the window open cuz it’s hot and then my roomate’s cat decided to jump out the window and hang out in the front yard. this is an indoor cat so the possibility of it getting freaked-out and darting the fuck away is pretty high so i try luring it back into the apartment for a good 45 minutes until f i n a l l y it prances up the stairs and in the front door. i locked little fuckface in the basement for a good hour after that.

i am never flying to the states again. customs is such a bitch. they made me feel like such a criminal. dumped all my things on the floor and looked thru’ every-fucking-thing i own. look at me. do i look like a drug smuggler. aaaak. oh yeh. SUM 41 was on my flight. wuh-ooo.

i deeply regret not grabbing a bottle of stoli last nite. and all because i would have to pick up some olives as well. already got the vermouth. it’s been a ’bout of crappy weather several days in a row, now. perfect getting-soused weather. although i’ve been playing it pretty straight the last little while. I’ve stopped takin’ percs practically cold turkey and i’m becoming less and less monsterish. movin’ into my new pad early next week. finally getting a laptop tomorrow. quit old job, waiting on word from the new one. sitting around watching american gladiators re-runs losing appeal quite fast.

today the weather is shite. went to the drivin’ range. managed to argue with three different people about nothing of importance. ate a bagel with cream cheese. put on sweater and dingy dungarees. unshowered. mascara and make-up from last nite smeared under eyes (raccoon style). and now i will watch oprah winfrey. this is a not-caring day. at least i brushed my teeth.