This iz whut i use to do when mum would let me take the day off of kindergarden. In my fantasy world I was teacher to my stuffed frendz and i read to them frum all my dr.Seuss boox and frum that one book in my hands . That book was one of like 50 in a series . it was called ‘Lets talk about teasing’ and focused on this asshole brother who always taunted the shit outta his sister and her back at him. i kood relate to that. All the other books began wif, ‘Lets talk about…’ I think we got them free in the mail cuz my mom ordered a subscription for sum magazine and they were a promo. my students had to sit and watch me drink my tea and eat biscuits and i would choose only one very lucky student to share cuz there was never enuff to go around which was too bad ‘cos i remember them all being very nice. My name was Missus Clorenchio. (I made that up). I wuz a child prodigy of sorts.

A haiku:

feeling hungOvir

tired and dehydrated

sucks on a friday

Thank Gawd for Gatorade and Beef jerky.

b4 i forget,
I had this Effed up dreamlast nite that was so real i thought that i wasgoingto tell you all here that it aktually happened.
anyhow, it took place on this tiny street (picture one of the side streets in kensington market) and the shoppe next door to where i apparently lived , i walked in and saw on this high shelf behind all these nicknacks and stuffed animaLs A dead fat and bloated naked woman who had hollowed out eyes, reddish hair, saggy flesh and her guts were oozing out of her stumAk. I screamed and ran outside to find this guy Johnny (who in real life owns jetFuEL coffeeshop) outside wif a shovel and he sez,
“wanna burn?” and passes me a joint and i’m like,
and then i woke up and realized i needed sum water.
I ate a whole bag of PlanTain baNana chips last nite. Man, i had thee munchies.

there’s this eFFing pen in my penholder of various pens that doesn’t werk and it keeps resurfacing at the most inconvenient of times when i need to jot sumthing down quick and i reach for a utensil and then this eFFing pen shows up and sez,
“Ffuk you, raymi! yer stuck wif me! MooHooHahah…”
and then i scribble and scratch at the paper and curse and swear like a madRaving Lunatik and the person on the other end uV the fone is disturbed into silence.
����i get delusionaL when i postpone my lunch for this long.

Oh yeh, b4 i forget, When ward sw’re my new hairkut for the first time he sez,

“Hey, did you cut your hair?”

“No, it fell out,” I say.


Pause. he looks at me and then at my head.

“You’re joking, right?”

My baby duz the HAnky panky….Today wuz kold as a mutherfukker. I tried NOT wearing my toque cuz i did’nae wanna mess up my hair and then my ears got all tingly hot and swelled-red. Whadda Maroon i kan sumtimes be. Oh well. I attempted going to this dykeBar after work, just to see whut all this fuss is about but it wuz too early yet and the durn place wuz not even open. I didn’t want to look like a ‘foon so i kept walking up the street to this gas Station and i bought a pack of smokes. Durnit. No luck for the weak. I think it’s time i settled down a tad and got me a boyfrend or something before i go mental and revert into the catacombes of my ugly mood, forever.

Today on the train, this Guy squeezes by me and sez, “sKuse me, buddy.” So, that’s Grayt. I’ve finally sucKseeded in looking like that of a little femBoy. I notice sum women are staring at me with that look in their eyes of lust. I know it cuz i often look at things/people like that, myself. My hair iz lookin’ funny today cuz i haven’t quite figgerd out how to style this new cut. It’s flat in the back but sticks up on the top of my head. I look like a cross-breed of an 80’s punkchikk and a Peacock. I wunder if it’ll help me get laid faster.

one time i was at my cuzin alex’ house and we ate like a whole kalbasa and cut the nastiest farts thru’out watchin’ the exorcist. The next morning we made 30 lil pancakes each and watched Alien. when that cyborg/robot guy was ripped apart by the mother alien and he puked all over himself, our stomaches started to churn so we gave the 60 pancakes to her dog, max. Alex and i use to make our own musik videos of us dancing around in slutty clothes and I also got Max on film licking his ballz.

Just watched that part in ferris Bueller’s day Off where he’s singin’ Twist ‘n shout in that parade and it’s all so phony and pre-planned and unrealistik cuz all these dancers just HAPPEN to be there and in sequence with the song and there’s people doing backflips, everyone’s happy and dancing. whuddevir. it’s entertainment.